RaVae Beck, Staff Writer ravae_b@yahoo.com
Valentine’s Day is ominously approaching. The men who have noticed are beginning to panic, grudgingly searching for that perfect gift. Retailers want society to believe women will only take a dozen roses and expensive jewelry for Valentine’s Day, but this is a large misconception. Giant stuffed animals and candle-lit dinners? Are these shows of affection really what women want?
We know we seem difficult, but the solution for a successful Valentine’s Day experience is relatively simple: just do something.
Women don’t anticipate Nicholas Sparks romance, though we might not turn away Ryan Gosling, if offered. We fantasize just as men do about the perfect date or surprise, but we don’t expect it. Valentine’s Day is not about committing to forever. We want our grand romantic gestures, but those can wait for the big occasions. Whether you believe it or not, women can and do distinguish reality from “P.S. I Love You.”
I see men getting so overwhelmed with the idea of the day that they avoid it and resent it, believing women only desire “Bachelor”-like date experiences. Men feel they can’t possibly live up to our expectations, so they run away from the attempt. I see it in my own husband after three happy years of marriage. The apprehension of the day has taken the fun out of showing our significant others how we feel about them.
The truth is, women are just trying to make it through the day too. We love attention from our partners, but we don’t like men feeling forced into showing us affection. We’d rather our man give us tangible gifts of love voluntarily any other day of the year. But, as much as everyone may wish to avoid it, the holiday exists. Expectations for Valentine’s Day are real and need to be addressed.
On Valentine’s Day, what we want is to know that our partner took a little time to show us how he feels. Your significant other may tell you exactly what she wants on the day, but most likely she won’t. She may even say she wants nothing, but my advice is to just do something. If you don’t want her to be disappointed, do something. It doesn’t have to be a lot. I promise.
My favorite surprise is funny sticky notes on my car and Mt. Dew and Oreos, my $7 version of champagne and chocolates. Try to think of something unique to her if you can, but if you’re stumped, traditional works great too. Women simply want to be reassured that we are worth a little effort. We want to know you took the time to show us how you feel on the day that tradition has deemed everyone should show it.
If you are really unsure, do a quick Google search. There are many simple suggestions that will help men out of a tight spot for Valentine’s Day. Try to plan more than two days ahead to relieve some stress. Leave a surprise card in her purse, meet her for lunch, plan a new date night or just pick a movie you know she wants to see.
No woman wants to be the one who didn’t get any effort on Valentine’s Day, even if it’s just a card. She may lead you to think she wants nothing, but don’t believe that for a second. Chocolates and flowers are okay, and if you can find a creative way to get them to her, more brownie points for you. We don’t need you to give us the world. We’re going to appreciate whatever you choose to do, and we’ll still love you.
