Dear window-smashing villain(s),
Hi it’s me, Jeff, the guy whose stuff you stole two weeks before Christmas. Just wanted to say hello and introduce myself, since I guess you didn’t feel like sticking around after breaking my window and taking all that cool stuff from my car. Things are OK for me, I’m just starting spring semester.
How did Christmas treat you? Pretty good, I imagine. Mine? I’m glad you asked.
The adrenaline rush you get when you walk out of a friends house at 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning and see broken glass next to your car is surprisingly refreshing. And I couldn’t even feel the eggnog hangover at all once I opened the door and saw your handy work, so that was nice.
The first thing I noticed, through the fist-sized hole in the driver’s side window, was the gaping hole where my stereo used to be. I’ve been meaning to replace that anyway, so no biggie there. Oh and my bag in the back seat with the laptop in it? Well, it’s about time somebody taught me the lesson of not leaving my things tucked away in the privacy of my car.
Oh, and I’m so glad you popped the trunk too, because it had been getting far too cluttered back there, what with the trumpet, cornet and digital camera rolling around. You can imagine my relief at these wonderful blessings you gave me. It was like a Christmas miracle!
Driving around with tape over my window was a tricky challenge, but what better way to increase my skills of driving with no visibility on the left side? I honestly can’t think of a better way. And being able to drive in silence without the distractions of music or knowing what time it is – your methods are pure genius.
If that wasn’t enough, I had a wonderful opportunity to make new friends at the insurance company. Oh happy day!
Kicking off my holiday season without all of the worries like deleting last semester’s schoolwork from my laptop, practicing my trumpet, or having a camera to take pictures with sure freed up plenty of time to lay in bed, stare at the wall and think about all of the gifts you have given me. So thank you, and I really, really hope we get to meet someday so I can … thank you … in person.
By Jeff Jacobsen – Online Content Manager
That’s why you leave your doors unlocked like I do. When they can just get in and take what they want, it’s so much less stressful on your car. I remember coming out to my car, thinking something was off. I drove home and in the process was told one of my taillights was out. I popped the trunk once home to check the bulb, only there was no bulb, no broken glass, just nothing. $5-6 bucks later my car was good as new. Your welcome people who took my taillight. You apparently needed it more than I did.
You tell them jeff.