Jared Stirland | Assistant Lifestyle Editor | jaredmstirland@gmail.com
Two important qualities of a romantic relationship are emotional and physical
intimacy. They play a crucial role in the formation of a relationship, and can be the
cause of an end to a relationship.
Each person has their own definition of infidelity based on personal ideology,
and previous experiences with love, sex, romance, and heartbreak. This is the type
of data that self-report surveys are designed to measure – opinions and feelings on
any given topic.
A staff member on the UVU review administered a short survey via
Facebook, in an attempt to determine which was more likely to end a romantic
relationship: emotional or physical infidelity – are some scarlet A’s smaller than
others.
55 percent of the 105 respondents said that they would end a relationship if
their romantic partner cheated on them emotionally, but not sexually. 60 percent
said that they would end a relationship if their romantic partner cheated on them
sexually, one time, but not emotionally. 12 percent admitted to emotionally cheating
on their romantic partner, while 1 percent admitted to sexually cheating on their
romantic partner.
William James, the first American psychologist, coined the term “automatic
sweetheart”, which he defined as a robot or an artificial intelligence (AI) technology
built by man.
James, playing the philosophical matchmaker, said that an individual who
unknowingly fell in love with an “automatic sweetheart”, would easily fall out of love
when told that their significant other was actually a man-made machine.
Charles Darwin’s Theory of Evolution by Natural Selection identifies an
obvious aspect of sex, as a motivational element, for the purpose of reproduction.
An organism is more fit to survive the more it passes on its genes, and to do this,
many organisms must copulate.
For humans, sex is more than just increasing our heart rates to become fit
to survive. It affects our emotions, influences our relationships, and can even
illicit strange thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
There is a neurological phenomenon in which ending a romantic
relationship, whether due to death or a breakup, can cause one’s heart to
physiologically ache. This is a combination of emotional and physical pain. We see
in sci-fi movies that those are two sensations a soulless robot cannot feel, so keep
Siri in the friendzone.
“I have cheated on my wife in terms of repeated masturbation” said one male
survey respondent.
Emotionless infidelity happens through orgasm-focused sexual encounters,
like the easily facilitated one-night stands of Tinder, and websites dedicated to
discreet affairs like ashleymadison.com.
“For me, it depends on the level of intimacy between the two. A friend of the
same gender as my partner may provide a support that I could not. And a friend of a
different gender may provide support as well without maintaining intimacy. But if
your significant other is sharing things with them that they wouldn’t share with you
such as goals, hopes, dreams, frustrations, experiences, pet names, etc then it
becomes emotional cheating. Emotional intimacy is the key, for me. Not just support
and sentiment.” said one female survey respondent.
Sexless infidelity happens through intimate, social encounters between two
individuals who build an emotionally romantic relationship with someone other
than their romantic partner.
Healthy, monogamous relationships between two homosapiens, includes a
balance of both physical and emotional intimacy. This creates the possibility of
romantic love, which consists of two human sweethearts with souls, faithfully
committing to one another – an idealistic concept like socialism, vulnerable to failure
when applied.
Old-school romanticists like Taylor Swift, Nicholas Sparks, and Karl Marx
might argue vulnerability is a necessary sacrifice when falling in love, because that
risk allows happiness to be equally dispersed between all parties.
Statistics are malleable, so the decision of which is worse, physical or
emotional cheating, is a democratic one, to be made subjectively. Only you can
decide.
* The opinions expressed here by the columnist are his own.
