One man’s path to inner beauty
Christian Ledek | Staff Writer
There is a sexism problem among some of the students here. I’m not perfect, but I try to be a good person and expect others to do the same. That’s why recent conversations I’ve overheard on campus have disturbed me.
I was in line at Jamba Juice at the beginning of this semester with my headphones in when I heard a group of bros in line ahead of me laughing out loud. I wanted to hear what was funny, so I took my headphones out and heard, “She’s like…freaking pasty white man. Ghost status. I’m not going to date her.” I quickly put my headphones back in and tried to hide the shocked look on my face.
A week later, while reading the sports section of the paper during breakfast at the Valley View Cafeteria, three bros sat a few chairs from me. I could overhear as they were discussing whether one of them had “sealed the deal” on a date the previous night. He responded with, “We were talking about possibly being together, like boyfriend/girlfriend, but she told me she doesn’t wax down there…that’s a deal breaker man.”
Let me preface the following with this: I know I’m not perfect. I’ve had shallow thoughts before, we all have. But to think that waxing is a prerequisite for dating someone is nonsense to me. If you have feelings for someone, that trivial stuff shouldn’t matter.
I like to think of myself as a man who is in touch with his emotions and feminine side, who understands that when I see women who tan, wax and get manicures and pedicures, it’s not done as a requirement for them to be considered beautiful or dateable. For women who do these things, it should be appreciated. It’s a time commitment. It’s a personal decision. It’s expensive. I know from personal experience because I did all these things to try to gain a better perspective of what some women put themselves through.
The mani/pedi was delightful. I had done this once before with my mom on a cruise when I was eighteen. I totally get the appeal. You get to hang out with friends while someone massages your feet and hands. You also get to make your nails look snazzy if that’s your choosing (I went with a clear coat). Money spent: $35.
I had never been tanning before in my life, unless you count going to Seven Peaks for days on end. It was a weird experience. I’m not claustrophobic, but lying naked in a tanning bed, completely enclosed by humming UV light bulbs, was somewhat traumatic. All I could think about was a preview I had seen for a Final Destination movie where a girl gets shocked to death from water leaking onto her tanning bed. Money spent: $9 – this was for a single session, the place I went to also had a monthly package for $24.99.
Lastly, I went to get a wax—a legitimate wax. Thankfully I’ve never had unibrow problems, and I didn’t do my legs, so it was chest, back, and bikini area for me. To be honest, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I thought I might come out looking like Steve Carrell in The 40-Year-Old Virgin—blood seeping through my shirt and calling it quits after only a few rips. Surprisingly to me, the chest hurt the worst. People told me it’s like ripping off a Band-Aid, but if I ripped off Band-Aids like they do when you wax I wouldn’t have had to go waxing. I didn’t feel it at all when the lady was waxing my back. The wax was warm and it was kind of soothing. Finally, it was time for the bikini area. I had my own Final Destination moment thinking that my skin was going to come off with the wax in some kind of bloody mess. But the lady was very professional, made sure to warn me as we were going near more sensitive areas. We were done with the all three waxings in 20 minutes. Money spent: $160.
Why put myself through this? Why do some things that are considered in society to be feminine? To be frank, what those guys said really pissed me off. There comments were arrogant, ignorant, and downright stupid. It felt like I was sticking it to them by doing those things. I could be wrong, but I doubt any of those bros had gone tanning, gotten a mani/pedi, and gotten waxed and didn’t understand the things some women do to enhance their outer appearance.
I don’t think anyone has to do these things to be considered beautiful. Beauty is very much in the eye of the beholder. To assume anyone would have to do this to be considered worthy of dating is wrong. It takes a lot of time, effort and money to do these things on a regular basis. I know I’m preaching to the female choir, but just know that there are people out there who get what some women (and men) go through to enhance their appearance. And if we all try and work on our inner beauty more often, maybe a lot of these outer beauty cosmetic things won’t matter as much. It’s worth a shot.
