Skip to content
UVU REVIEW logo showcasing student news, campus events, and Utah Valley University updates for collegiate journalism and student engagement.
Menu
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus Government
    • Events
    • Politics
    • Crime/Title IX
    • Business
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Wellness
    • Valley Life
    • Wellness for Wolverines
    • Eating on Campus
    • Professors
    • Student Blog
  • Arts & Culture
    • Music
    • The Cultured Wolverine
  • Sports
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
      • Basketball
      • Basketball
    • Cross Country
      • Cross Country - Men's
      • Cross Country - Women's
    • Golf
      • Golf - Men's
      • Golf - Women's
    • Soccer
      • Soccer - Men's
      • Soccer - Women's
    • Track & Field
      • Track & Field - Men's
      • Track & Field - Women's
    • Wrestling
    • Wolverine Sports
  • Podcast
    • Wellness for Wolverines
    • The Cultured Wolverine
    • Wolverine Sports
    • Pro Talks
  • Youtube
    • Wolverine Weekly
    • We are Wolverines
    • Matchpoint
  • Games
    • Wordle
    • Crossword
    • Sudoku
    • Tetris
    • 2048
    • Flappy Bird

Search


About Us Advertise Contact Work For Us

Search UVU Review

About Us Advertise Contact Work For Us
SIGN UP LOG IN
NOTICE A scheduled update is currently in progress. If you notice anything unusual, please refresh the page or clear your cache. We appreciate your patience and apologize for any inconvenience.
Opinions

Breakin’ the law in p-town

By
|
3 min read
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news."
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news." | Graphic by The UVU Review
Aug 31, 2009, 4:49 PM MST |
Last Updated Aug 31, 4:49 PM MST

It has regrettably come to my attention in recent weeks that one need not do anything to break a law in Provo. I mean this in the most literal sense possible, and if you doubt the possibility of this seemingly bold claim, I direct you to the following hypothetical reconstruction of an actual situation:

Mary owns a beat up old clunker which she intends to fix up on the cheap, and stores said vehicle in her back yard, away from the eyes of the public, who in all likelihood would be visually offended by the sore sight of a rusty Pontiac blighting the neighborhood’s pristine profile. Jim, Mary’s neighbor, decides to upgrade his place of residence to more completely reflect a recent pay raise, and adds a second story to his house, from which Jim can see into Mary’s backyard, and therefore see the rusty Pontiac which patiently awaits various refurbishments.

Aside from the possibilities for peeping tomfoolery (mixed idiom intended), there is a very real consequence of Jim’s home improvement: Mary is now, through no action of her own, in violation of Provo city code, which in distilled form states that inoperable (read: ugly) cars cannot be stored in view of the public, and she is subject to the full penalty of that law.

This is simply one among many ways in which absurd Provo laws invade and distort the lives of its citizens. Another example: more than three unrelated individuals cannot live at the same address unless that address’ physical location happens to lie just south of the BYU campus. Yet another example: more than five people cannot congregate on the front lawn of your house without being in violation of a law. Another: having a sufficiently unkempt lawn constitutes an infraction.

These are simply examples of strange laws related only to places of residence. There are dozens of other examples regulating your ability to make rational adult decisions, ranging from laws about how, when, and where to consume and buy alcoholic beverages to where it is and is not legal to carry a loaded and hidden firearm (for the record, it is legal to do so almost everywhere including this campus, your church, the grocery store, and many public buildings).

What in the name of all that is good and rational in this world are the legislators in Provo, nay, the entire state of Utah, doing? Or thinking? Instruments of death practically anywhere? Hell yes! Barbeques at your own house in view of others? Get ‘em!

It is not my intention here to simply point out the strangeness of all this and let that be the end of it. I mean to suggest that the well-understood Utahan obsession with presenting a positive image of sterile beauty is, within the city limits of Provo, taken to such an extreme as to actually get in the way of both good sense and personal freedom. Having grown up in the Chihuahuan desert, I happen to think dirt and rocks look attractive in a yard setting, and if I want my front lawn to reflect that preference, frankly I ought to be able to, even if my fellow Provoans happen to prefer more traditional landscaping. I can only hope that as I go home tonight to rake the dirt that my neighbors haven’t just come from a gun show.

More by
Previous Opinions Gaypocalypse now!
Next News Take advantage of the perks going to school offers: Ride the bus!
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Login
Notify of
guest

guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

0 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Popular Reads

  • 1
    Herby Fullmer Candidate for UVU's Student Body President
    “Not Me V. U, It’s UVU” Herby Fullmer sits down with The UVU Review -We Are Wolverine Special EpisodeFebruary 26, 2026
  • 2
    Yellow and black butterflies, with varying wing designs
    UVU’s Darwin Day: A celebration of evolution and a reminder of insects’ importanceFebruary 19, 2026
  • 3
    A.I. lunch break teaches students and faculty how to use artificial intelligenceFebruary 19, 2026
  • 4
    Double doors leading to Student Leadership and Involvement Offices
    Proposed UVUSA constitutional amendment would add a third Connection and Belonging ChairFebruary 23, 2026
  • 5
    UVU Student Body Presidential Candidate Alex Stewart
    “All In for Alex” Alex Stewart sits down with The UVU Review – A We Are Wolverine Special EpisodeFebruary 23, 2026
UVU REVIEW

Sections

  • News
  • Arts & Culture
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle

Games

  • Wordle
  • 2048
  • Sudoku
  • Flappy Bird
  • Tetris
  • Crossword

Shows

  • Wolverine Weekly
  • We are Wolverines
  • UVU Sports
  • The Cultured Wolverine
  • Wellness for Wolverines
  • Pro Talks

Company

  • Contact Us
  • Advertising
  • About Us
  • Staff Application

Follow Us

Your Privacy Choices Terms of Service Privacy Policy Disclaimer
UVU REVIEW

Sections

  • News
  • Arts & Culture
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle

Games

  • Wordle
  • 2048
  • Sudoku
  • Flappy Bird
  • Tetris
  • Crossword

Shows

  • Wolverine Weekly
  • We are Wolverines
  • UVU Sports
  • The Cultured Wolverine

Company

  • Contact Us
  • Advertising
  • About Us
  • Staff Application
Your Privacy Choices Terms of Service Privacy Policy Disclaimer

2026 © The UVU Review 2026 | All Rights Reserved

© 2026 The UVU Review 2026 | All Rights Reserved

UVU REVIEW
Cookie Acknowledgement

The UVU Review uses cookies to improve site performance and analyze traffic. By continuing, you agree to our use of cookies.

Ad Blockers and Incognito windows may affect some features.

For more information, please see our Privacy Policy and/or Terms and Conditions

 

Thank you for supporting Independent Student Journalism!

Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
  • Manage options
  • Manage services
  • Manage {vendor_count} vendors
  • Read more about these purposes
View preferences
  • {title}
  • {title}
  • {title}
wpDiscuz