Fast food find: Subway’s Flatizza

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My favorites foods are those with names that are just two words nonsensically smashed together. So, naturally the inaugural “Fast food find” is featuring Subway’s Flatizza.

I ventured into my neighborhood Subway and was overwhelmed with the familiar Subway aroma. I’m sure you know it too. The line was short as I sheepishly walked up to the counter. “Um.. I’d actually like to try some Flatizzas,” I said. The worker didn’t seem to know what to do with this request despite the two huge displays for them within her view.

There are four kinds of Flatizzas to choose from: Cheese or Veggie for $3 and Pepperoni and Spicy Italian for $3.50 or to save 50 cents, you can order two for $6. I ordered one Cheese and one Spicy Italian. The “sandwich artist” gone “Flatizza artist” fumbled around trying to find the right “crust” but settled for the regular flatbread though I doubt this recipe variation makes a difference. The sauce was ladled on with care and the pepperoni and salami were arranged perfectly. The cheese was then handfulled on top, which should be illegal. Cheese on bottom, toppings on top. That’s why they’re called toppings. The cheese Flatizza got a tiny lettuce piece on it like mussels clinging to the bottom of a boat.

They didn’t take long to cook in the oven they use to toast sandwiches but after fixing a mischarge, they were cold by the time I got to them. Oh, well. This is real life, cold pizza and all.

My first thought was that this is a glorified Lunchable pizza. The bread is a basic flatbread which is very similar to those used in the elementary school favorite. The edges get close to the desired amount of crispy but no cigar. The ratio of toppings to crust wasn’t quite right. But even with all of these things, I kind of liked it. I’ll admit that I have eaten too many Lunchable pizzas in the past year to be insulting them. The Spicy Italian wasn’t exactly spicy but it did have nice flavors from the two meats. I liked it more than the plain cheese.

Overall I wouldn’t exactly call the Flatizza’s a dud, but they were almost too reminiscent of a delicacy that booger-nosed kids fight over. For a company that is used to cold food, I think they did pretty well. If you want a great pizza, this isn’t for you but for a quick, inexpensive lunch, it’s worth a try.