Skip to content
UVU REVIEW
Menu
  • Home
  • News
    • Campus Government
    • Events
    • Politics
    • Crime/Title IX
    • Business
  • Lifestyle
    • Health & Wellness
    • Valley Life
    • Wellness for Wolverines
    • Eating on Campus
    • Professors
    • Student Blog
  • Arts & Culture
    • Music
    • The Cultured Wolverine
  • Sports
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
      • Basketball
      • Basketball
    • Cross Country
      • Cross Country - Men's
      • Cross Country - Women's
    • Golf
      • Golf - Men's
      • Golf - Women's
    • Soccer
      • Soccer - Men's
      • Soccer - Women's
    • Track & Field
      • Track & Field - Men's
      • Track & Field - Women's
    • Wrestling
    • Wolverine Sports
  • Podcast
    • Wellness for Wolverines
    • The Cultured Wolverine
    • Wolverine Sports
    • Pro Talks
  • Youtube
    • Wolverine Weekly
    • We are Wolverines
    • Matchpoint
  • Games
    • Wordle
    • Crossword
    • Sudoku
    • Tetris
    • 2048
    • Flappy Bird

Search


About Us Advertise Contact Work For Us

Search UVU Review

About Us Advertise Contact Work For Us
SIGN UP LOG IN
NOTICE The UVU Review has currently paused news production for the summer break until August 2026
News

Tour de Felony

By Greg Bates
|
2 min read
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news."
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news." | Graphic by The UVU Review
Jan 18, 2011, 6:22 AM MST |
Last Updated Jan 17, 4:22 PM MST
Illustration by Bryan Gomm

Salt Lake City police were stumped on Friday, Jan. 7, when a young man held up Bank of the West at around 1 p.m.  The suspect, in his 20s and around 5’8”, reportedly entered the bank during the lunch hour and handed the teller a note describing his demands. The teller complied, and the suspect fled the scene with an unknown amount of money.

This event is surprising in and of itself, but the suspect’s colorful exit is what left SLCPD scratching their heads. The clever criminal, foregoing the clichéd Lincoln as his getaway, instead hopped on a ten-speed and pedaled to freedom. Yes, ladies and gentleman, a bank robber in a major metropolitan city was able to escape on a mountain bike. The suspect, in fact, was seen headed southeast from the bank, right past the Public Safety Building that houses Salt Lake City Police Department headquarters.

Police have no leads as of yet and are asking for the public’s help in identifying the suspect. And yes, we checked, Lance Armstrong’s alibi is airtight.

There’s no question that this particular criminal made a pretty bold move, but what seems even more incredible is that he was able to get away in such a pedestrian fashion. According to The Highway Cycling Group, the average human male, just like the suspect described, is able to maintain a speed of 14-17 miles per hour on a mountain bike traveling on pavement with semi-slick tires. The average Chevy Malibu, the vehicle issued to Salt Lake City Policemen, can reach 60 miles per hour in 8.2 seconds, according to ZeroTo60Times.com. These statistics make this outlandish crime even more surreal and echo the Old West, where the second act of the routine hold up was to saddle up – albeit this has a much more contemporary twist.

Salt Lake City Police is asking anyone to come forward and call their tip line at 801-799-3000. Tipsters can remain anonymous.

Greg Bates More by Greg Bates
Previous News Celebrate, but don’t eat the cake with cows heart
Next News The best laid plans of pipes & men
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Login
Notify of
guest

guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

0 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted

Popular Reads

  • 1
    Utah Valley University seal in front of the Keller building with chalk writing in memory of Charlie Kirk | Photo by: Matthew Franke, The UVU Review
    UVU 2026 commencement to be without keynote speakerApril 18, 2026
  • 2
    Wolverine Weekly Season 2 | Episode 4 See you next Semester!April 18, 2026
  • 3
    How to Become the Candidate Recruiters Look ForApril 20, 2026
  • 4
    The UVU Review announces leadership transition, pauses production for semester closeApril 20, 2026
UVU REVIEW

Sections

  • News
  • Arts & Culture
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle

Games

  • Wordle
  • 2048
  • Sudoku
  • Flappy Bird
  • Tetris
  • Crossword

Shows

  • Wolverine Weekly
  • We are Wolverines
  • UVU Sports
  • The Cultured Wolverine
  • Wellness for Wolverines
  • Pro Talks

Company

  • Contact Us
  • Advertising
  • About Us
  • Staff Application

Follow Us

Your Privacy Choices Terms of Service Privacy Policy Disclaimer
UVU REVIEW

Sections

  • News
  • Arts & Culture
  • Sports
  • Lifestyle

Games

  • Wordle
  • 2048
  • Sudoku
  • Flappy Bird
  • Tetris
  • Crossword

Shows

  • Wolverine Weekly
  • We are Wolverines
  • UVU Sports
  • The Cultured Wolverine

Company

  • Contact Us
  • Advertising
  • About Us
  • Staff Application
Your Privacy Choices Terms of Service Privacy Policy Disclaimer

2026 © The UVU Review 2026 | All Rights Reserved

© 2026 The UVU Review 2026 | All Rights Reserved

UVU REVIEW
Cookie Acknowledgement

The UVU Review uses cookies to improve site performance and analyze traffic. By continuing, you agree to our use of cookies.

Ad Blockers and Incognito windows may affect some features.

For more information, please see our Privacy Policy and/or Terms and Conditions

 

Thank you for supporting Independent Student Journalism!

Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
  • Manage options
  • Manage services
  • Manage {vendor_count} vendors
  • Read more about these purposes
View preferences
  • {title}
  • {title}
  • {title}
wpDiscuz