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Arts & Culture

I’m Fat

By Jonathan Poole
|
2 min read
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news."
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news." | Graphic by The UVU Review
Sep 22, 2008, 12:00 AM MST |
Last Updated Sep 22, 12:00 AM MST

Let’s face it: For some people, more is more. We all know some big guy that looks as cuddly as a teddy bear, but take away that excess baggage and all of a sudden he seems more grizzly than plush. The same is true for the ladies. A little curve goes a long way and besides, it’s not like Sir Mix-A-Lot didn’t know what he was rapping about.

Unfortunately, for myself, the inverse is true. Due to reasons beyond my control, I don’t wear excess weight very well. For example, my wife is seven months pregnant. Now, you know how when a guy’s wife is pregnant and he tells you that, “I’m having a baby!”, someone always comes back with, “You’re having a baby?”, as if that joke were the pinnacle of wit? Yeah, people don’t even do that to me. They just eye me nervously and try to avoid eye contact.

Normally, that would be enough to convince most people to take immediate and drastic dietary measures. However, I was a drama kid in high school and thus have a high tolerance for social disregard. But the real shocker came a few days ago when, in a fit of reckless apathy toward my “Most Cheeseburgers in an Hour” record,, I stepped on the bathroom scale. We all have a breaking point; mine is 199.5 pounds.

Now, that may not seem like much to some, but if you were 5’9”, lacked any muscle whatsoever and were weighing in at a svelte (and borderline attractive) 160 just three years ago, half a pound shy of 200 is a big deal.

So being the decisive, humanitarian reporter that I am, I quickly devised a plan that included video games and a way to share my experience with you. The plan? Cut caloric intake and exercise using Wii Fit. The goal? Lose 30 pounds. The timetable? The end of the current semester.

Once a month I’ll run an update detailing the exercises I’ve participated in: the ones that are fun, the ones that work and the progress that I’ve made toward my goal. On a weekly basis I’ll be posting results and observations on my blog,

worstreviewever.blogspot.com, for those that wish to follow along.

Can Wii Fit pull its weight as an exercise program, or is it just an expensive toy? Stay tuned.

Jonathan Poole More by Jonathan Poole
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