Illustration by: Ashley Fairbourne
When it comes to being single, there are a number of things that start to bother you that you may have never noticed before.
One of these is the incessant need for people to post pictures of their “happy” marriages or “perfect” relationships for the world to see. I don’t sound the least bit cynical, do I? Well that is because I am talking for all of you who do not have a significant other this Valentine’s Day.
You guys know the people I’m talking about, the ones who cannot post something on social media without referring to their significant other. Girls are far worse at this than guys are and part of me wonders if that has to do with the fact that they are programmed to believe that they need a man to complete them from a young age.
Every girl sort of wants some form or another of that perfect Disney-movie romance. Hell, I used to think that I wanted it. But at one point, you realize that the princesses in those Disney movies have both unrealistic weddings and waistlines. Some of us realize this early, but others realize this only long after they already turned in their singledom for a husband and a dog.
Maybe these are the people who post so much relationship barf on social media.
An article in the Huffington Post cited a psychology experiment that determined people who frequently use “I” when posting on social media or speaking in person are less secure than those who don’t.
I know many people who are secure in their relationships with their boyfriends or their spouse. They are never the ones I see posting an endless Facebook status about how their darling husband is so selfless because he did the dishes or how he came home from work and bought her a cookie or any number of little things that don’t deserve such public praise.
It seems these ladies take to the media to convince others and themselves that “yes, I am happy” and “yes, I have a Walt Disney approved marriage.”
Because Cinderella’s prince always brought her two dollar sugar cookies that were sitting in a glass case for twelve hours.
I am not, in any way, knocking the kindness of people who do little things to make their lover smile. I applaud you and I believe those things are great ways to show someone you care.
I am knocking those who feel like those little things are so monumental they deserve their own Instagram post. Why is the cookie worthy of a Valencia filter and a caption?
If you think I’m off on this you can refer to Ashely Hunter, Missouri resident and doting wife. She wrote this status on her Facebook page for all her followers to grow green over:
“I am blessed to be married to my best friend. Our love grows more and more everyday. We have our own fairytale and a marriage built around God. I love this man!!”
A week later she shot her husband seven times. Turns out her marriage was growing from fairytale to horror story.
So this Valentine’s Day while you watch your feed blow up with pictures of couples, some you hate, some you love, and you think to yourself, “I wish that I had that…”, consider this: I’ll bet you they are looking at your life and wishing they had what you have.
They wish they could have another chance to be single. They wish they had self-security. They wish they had the freedom to go out and find the man that actually makes them so happy,
they don’t have to resort to outside validation by bragging about him on social media.
Meanwhile you can find someone who lets you have your Instagram-free cookie and eat it, too. •