Film superlatives for the 2022-23 UVU academic year

Reading Time: 2 minutes “Most popular” or “most likely to become a millionaire” are common yearbook superlatives. Here are some less common superlatives for films from this past academic year.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

A huge number of films were released in the time spanning UVU’s most recent fall and spring semesters. As the school year mercifully draws to a close, it’s time to reflect on the ups and downs of Hollywood in that time. Not every film can be mentioned, but here are some of the most noteworthy superlatives for the year.

Most Entertaining Film — “Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

An all-star cast, clever scriptwriting and immaculate vibes elevate “Glass Onion” to the top. It’s a simple movie, certainly, and longtime cinema enthusiasts may scoff at its placement in the upper echelon, but then again, cinema enthusiasts rarely factor in the vibes.

Biggest Waste of Time in a Cinema — “Avatar: The Way of Water

“Avatar: The Way of Water” is the most beautiful three hours that had no reason to exist. Good sequels typically build upon the world and characters of the original, pitting known entities against new dilemmas with a fresh narrative. “The Way of Water” isn’t a good sequel; it’s just the original “Avatar” again.

Most Frustrating Mystery Film — “Knock at the Cabin

M. Night Shyamalan films are mysterious and mind-bending at their best. A good mystery utilizes subtlety and compels the audience to ponder its potential twists and eventual conclusion. Early Shyamalan movies such as “The Sixth Sense” and “Signs” managed to leave audiences with subtle bread crumbs and endings of a thought-provoking nature. “Knock at the Cabin’s” bread crumbs are, unfortunately, so large that it’s a wonder Dave Bautista didn’t trip over them during filming.

Most Glaring Blemish on an Actor’s Filmography — “Pinocchio

The 2022 film “Pinocchio” is a wooden reproduction, stripped of its magic. Narratively, the film is near-identical to its 1940 predecessor. The visuals are fine, and the performances are subpar at best. Perhaps the worst thing that could be said about the film is that it causes Tom Hanks to look like a bad actor.

Best Use of Satire in a Film — “The Menu

“The Menu” is as thrilling as it is funny, as hyperbolic as it is self-aware, and its satirical approach to foodie culture and consumerism is what truly ties it all together. Stellar performances from Anya Taylor-Joy and Ralph Fiennes also contribute to make “The Menu” one of the best films of 2022.

Most Boring Film with an Exciting Premise — “65

It could have easily been much better, but dinosaurs have never been so boring. “65” is a movie in which Adam Driver’s character crash-lands on what he believes to be an alien planet. The audience, however, knows the planet to be Earth, 65 million years in the past. If the reveal hadn’t been explicitly spoiled in the film’s earliest cinematic trailers, the premise and eventual revelation could have really paid off. Unfortunately, whatever potential the film’s premise suggested is squandered by lackluster action and borderline non-existent character development.