-Cannonized Cinema-
In case you missed it, Parts one and two.
The Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Aug. 5
Science-Fiction, Not Yet Rated
Before you go ape (pun very much intended) about how the last remake “Planet of the Apes” (2001) was just awful, I promise you, this movie looks legitimately awesome. It’s basic story is how we got from the present time to the “future” that Charlton Heston found himself in the original “Planet of the Apes” (1968) where *Spoiler Alert* Earth had been taken over by apes & monkeys. The original is well worth your time if you haven’t seen it. The CGI apes & monkeys look pretty realistic, which only adds to the unsettling factor of the whole story.
Verdict: Go See It.
The Whistleblower, Aug. 5
Drama, Rated R
Staring Academy Award Winner Rachel Weisz, “The Whistleblower” tells the true story of one woman who uncovered political corruption in post-war Bosnia. The cast is superb and the story has intrigue and devastation, a combination that can leave you feeling melancholy for days. It’s worth seeing but do it when you’re in the mood for tragedy.
Verdict: Wait for Redbox
The Change-Up, Aug. 5
Comedy, Rated R
The Change-Up takes the “Freaky Friday” concept and revamps it for the modern man. Staring Jason Bateman as a family man and Ryan Reynolds as a single ladies’ man, they accidentally switch bodies after urinating in a magical fountain. Both Bateman and Reynolds have the comedic chops for hilarious moments. However, even their obvious talent and chemistry isn’t enough to save this tired plot.
Verdict: Wait for Redbox.
Final Destination 5, Aug. 12
Horror, Not Yet Rated
My first thought upon seeing that there was yet another Final Destination movie on the horizon was, “Really? Another one? Wasn’t the last one called The Final Destination, as to imply it was the very last one?” Apparently we’re not so lucky. What makes this next installment truly cringe-worthy is there seems to be nothing new or different to set it apart from the first four movies. A group of teens/young adults escape death and then one by one, they all die horrifically. That’s the basis of everyone of these movies. No pun intended, but it’s been done to death.
Verdict: Don’t Waste Your Life
The Help, Aug. 5
Drama, Rated PG-13
Emma Stone stars as a reporter who writes about the lives of the African-American servants, cooks, nannies, maids, etc. in Jackson, Mississippi during the 1960s. She is helped by Aibileen, played by Academy Award nominated Viola Davis. Based upon a national best seller, The Help has a stunning cast and a solid story. By blending moments of humor with its poignant message, “The Help” looks charming.
Verdict: Go See It
30 Minutes or Less, Aug. 12
Action/Adventure, Comedy, Not Yet Rated
Staring some major comidic hitters of today, “30 Minutes or Less” combines an absurd premise with clever reactions. Jesse Eisenberg plays a pizza delivery boy who has a bomb strapped to his chest by Danny McBride. Eisenberg, along with his friend played by Aziz Ansari, have to rob a bank before McBride detonates the bomb. The chemistry between Eisenberg and Ansari is delightful and whenever McBride is on screen, he obviously steals the scene.
Verdict: Go See It
5 Days of War, Aug. 19
Action/Adventure, Drama, Rated R
Based upon real events, 5 Days of War follows journalists who covered the war between Georgia and Russia in 2008, a conflict that only last 5 days. The film combines the terror and grit of war with the frustration of a world that doesn’t seem to notice the suffering. Political without taking sides, “5 Days of War” is a poignant message of what people will do to expose the truth.
Verdict: Go See It
Conan the Barbarian, Aug. 19
Action/Adventure, Rated R
Heavy on gratuitous action, light on story, “Conan the Barbarian” looks cool but don’t bother trying to find a cohesive plot. I’ll save you the time: there is none.
Verdict: Don’t Waste Your Life.
Written by Kelly Cannon, a self-proclaimed cinephile, Cannonized Cinema will cover everything within the world of film. Whether they’re classic, cult, foreign or family-friendly, any film has potential to be Cannonized. For more Cannonized Cinema, click here.
