When the feeling is mutual

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Photo credit: Gabi Campbell


You like someone. You flirt, chat and text each other on a regular basis. You’ve even been hanging out with one another for quite some time, but signs that these feelings are reciprocated seem a bit fuzzy. You’ve tried deciphering their non-verbal messages to you with no success. All you want is a clear signal to know whether the feelings are mutual. Here are 5 key signs to look for:

1. Initiating quality time is a mutual desire.  If you feel that conversations or time spent together are always initiated by you, that’s a good sign that the other person may not be emotionally invested.  Two people who like each other find ways to see each other.

2.  Wanting to spend time alone is mutually desired. If you’re the only one wanting it to be “just the two of you,” it’s probably not mutual.  When falling in love, it’s natural to want more time alone with each other.  Spending time with friends is great on occasion, but if you feel your crush is avoiding alone time with you, or distancing themselves from you, it’s time to move on.

3. Less questions and more answers. If you constantly wonder whether a person returns your same affections, that’s your answer.  When the feelings are shared, the message is clear. The relationship should move forward, not backward.

4You feel special.  It may sound silly, but it’s true.  A person in love will say it and show it.  There are different ways to do this, but the result will be the same, you will know they like you.

5.  To become exclusive is desired by both individuals.  If you’re the only one in the relationship canceling your Tinder account, chances are the other person’s affections are not equal to yours.  If the feelings are mutual between you, dating others becomes less appealing while becoming exclusive is more appealing.

There are always exceptions, but experience proves, those are few and far between.  Pay attention to gut feelings, instincts and the proverbial red flag—e.g., their online dating sites are still active.  These signs tell you romantic feelings aren’t mutual.

These signs aren’t going to be flashing in your face right away.  It takes time to develop a healthy relationship and for feelings to grow stronger, but you will eventually start to recognize the signs of finding mutualism in a relationship or fling.

If feelings are mutual between the two of you, it will become evident. You won’t feel foolish for sending a text or wonder who should call whom first. You shouldn’t question whether someone likes you or not. I’ve always thought that dating should be the fun part of the relationship.  If it becomes complicated, just remember the signs.  You may miss a few of these signals along the way, but one will be nearly impossible, love.

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