Throughout college, students are bound to have several varied dating experiences. Advice columns and magazines are frequently sought for advice to solve the ultimate problem: being single.
Though there is absolutely nothing wrong with being single during school, each time a date or relationship ends or fails to progress, students are left frustrated and wonder what went wrong. Some students will confide in married friends or parents based on dating success that resulted in marriage.[TS1] On the other hand, many believe that it’s easier to discuss dating obstacles with people they don’t know so they can’t be judged or given a hard time. No one likes hearing the ‘I told you so’ chat.
Author Sherry Argov picked up on this common problem and decided to help her fellow women out by publishing Why Men Love Bitches in 2002. Her book is all about transitioning one’s self from doormat to dream girl and guides women on how to hold their own in a relationship.
This book is designed for women who are too nice in the dating world which, I’ll admit, I am oftentimes that girl. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but in dating Argov shares key giveaways to increase success in the dating world and relationships. [TS2]
Argov is also not suggesting that women become bitches and she does not use the term in a demeaning way. Argov said, “The woman I’m describing is kind yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She doesn’t give up her life, and she won’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has a 100 percent “hold” on her. And she’ll stand up for herself when he steps over the line.”
There are mistakes we are all making right now, too nice or not, that need to be addresses and changed in the realm of dating. Dating also has certain components that are important to recognize regardless of how frustrating they may be. You cannot conquer or change them without knowing them.
One of these is the thrill of the chase. Many women do not enjoy playing games and feel taunted by the men who choose to engage in such games. Argov shares a principle of attraction: “When a woman doesn’t give in easily and doesn’t appear docile or submissive it becomes more stimulating to obtain her.”
Applying this attraction principle to the real world translates to: don’t be so open and available! Yes, we know you like the guy and want to go on dates and spend time with him. But don’t let yourself be so easy. If you’ve gone on two dates and he asks you out for a third, don’t respond with “anytime, any day”! You don’t want to be sending needy and desperate vibes.
Guys are attracted to what they can’t initially have and typically enjoy the chase. You don’t have to indulge them. You are a confident woman. You are independent. And you do not need a man to make yourself happy.
You radiate confidence and a new level of attraction when you can hold your own and manage your own life without a man. Make him work for you and leave him wanting more. You have the ability to create the rules and make him follow them.
Define things on your terms and your time, do not allow men to dictate all these things in your life. You also want to secure their egos and allow them to feel they are in control. Compliment their masculinity; ask for help with things that will boost their pride.
Dating won’t ever be perfect; there is no precise formula to master, but there are important things to be aware of and incorporate into your daily dating lives.