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Arts & Culture

Avoiding a toxic mistake

By Van Welch
|
3 min read
Nov 19, 2014, 1:59 PM MST |
Last Updated Nov 19, 1:59 PM MST

Toxic relationships are sometimes hard to spot, but certain red flags can help you avoid poisonous people before they infect you further. We learn early in life how to recognize the warning signs for danger. Bright red lights signal for us to stop, skulls tell us something is poisonous and anything with a big cross over it is a bad idea. But when it comes to relationships, the signs don’t always seem so obvious.

People don’t come with a “Read Before Use” label that you can glance over before getting involved. You
need to feel things out and trust your intuition. Even though there is no giant “X” over a person who is clearly not right for you, there are some red flags to watch out for to help you steer clear of a toxic relationship.

A toxic relationship is just as it sounds. It is a relationship that does far more bad than good. Sometimes you can tell right from the beginning that the relationship is unhealthy. Other times it can creep up on you. Whether you aren’t sure you are in an unhealthy relationship or you want to avoid them at all costs, here are a few hazardous signs to stay away from:

Co-dependency 

Some people have this idea that they need someone to complete them. This is unhealthy. To have a healthy relationship, you cannot rely on someone else to make you happy because they will never be able to. It is your responsibility to make yourself happy. Self-help author, Marc Chernoff, wrote, “The longing for completion you feel inside comes from being out of touch with who you are. You have to create your own happiness before you can share it with someone else.”

Manipulation and lies 

A relationship without trust is hardly a relationship at all. If you aren’t able to trust someone you can’t possibly love him or her. If someone is playing with your mind, it’s a sure sign they have no real concern or respect for you as a person. When you catch someone in a lie, the best thing to do is cut him or her off. Rarely does it stop at just one so you should save yourself the heartache.

Lack of forgiveness or holding the past against each other

When you accept someone in a relationship, you need to accept all of him or her. If either of you aren’t willing to, this will become a never- ending battle that will destroy you both.

A relationship run by one person 

A healthy relationship should be liberating and freeing. If you should ever feel trapped it means something isn’t right. Love is all about communication and working together as a team. When one person dominates the relationship, it is time to get out.

The truth is, every relationship is a gamble. But consider these warnings, as you are making serious dating decisions. With every relationship you enter at your own risk, just make sure you proceed with caution.

Van Welch More by Van Welch
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