To be alone, or not alone

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The common notion that we must be completely personally put together and happy with ourselves before we can be happy with someone else in a relationship misses the mark. Even the overly pinned, posted and tweeted old adage “Happiness is a journey, not a destination” can debunk notions about prerequisite personal happiness is required before entering into a relationship. Don’t miss out on healthy relationships while you wait for the undetermined timeline and elusive ideas of self produced happiness.

Happiness has to be better understood. We often romanticize and fanaticize the phrase “I’m happy.” Like most sought-after emotions or dreams, happiness falls into the category: Applications taken regularly and repeatedly. Happiness is not permanent nor easily kept. This fact alone is the enticing and inviting side of happiness. – We can have it more than once. Find happiness and find it often. We must also respect happiness in its own right. By over defining or exaggerating happiness we can undermine its affect and obtainability. Happiness can’t be obtained, rented or checked out without a substantial down payment – usually paid to another imperfect person.

Healthy relationships promote happiness both for the individual and the couple. These relationships allow us to put a variety of attributes, emotions and thoughts into order. Healthy relationships are the productive testing ground for character, opinion and priority.

Individual happiness is easiest found in a healthy relationship. Without the added pressure of another individual’s happiness we often would not find our own peace and happiness. The New York Times February 2014 article entitled “Love, Actually” reads, “I am not aware of any other factor in medicine that has a greater impact on our survival than the healing power of love and intimacy,” quoting physician Dr. Ornish, author and nonprofit Preventive Medicine Research Institute Founder.

Ornish continues, “Not diet, not smoking, not exercise, not stress, not genetics, not drugs, not surgery.” Love and a healthy relationship are powerful. Such a good influence for individual happiness should not be avoided or waited for.

We can better understand this concept through the blending of two categories: motivation and vulnerability.

Motivation is needed in our lives to aspire, dream and importantly work. Money can motivate us. Some are motivated by morals and beliefs. Healthy relationships bring

a motivation into a participant’s life that is hard to surpass. When we find that another individual motivates us we have to get creative and broaden our horizons. “If I’m having a bad day my boyfriend can change my perspective”, said UVU sophomore Lauren Sampson, 24. Healthy relationships give us a resource that can only be found in someone that is intimate with us.

Vulnerability can bring about increased personal confidence and ability. While we often hide our self-defined weaknesses – intellectual, physical or whatever we think we have issues with – healthy relationships can strengthen and put your weaknesses into new light.

Remember that happiness applications are taken often and repeatedly. Happiness Applicant tip: they are more readily approved when in a healthy relationship.