We have heard the classic story about a crying girl who has been hurt by a guy she liked. She is left alone and feels used or played, more or less. Although this is the classic player story, men are not the only ones who will use those they date. Women do the same thing, but they use men for a different purpose.

When a woman uses a man, she is not necessarily looking for a make-out buddy or something fun to pass the time, like men are known to do. She is more likely looking for a confidence boost.

Many women I talk to, especially those who are used to having a boyfriend, yearn and hunger for a man to look at them in admiration. I know a girl who is engaged who may have a difficult time leaving dating behind. Her good friends worry about her because she absolutely loves making any man fall for her. From the moment a girl knows a cute guy is watching her to the moment she knows she has him hooked, the entire process is very rewarding for a woman who seeks validation.

I enjoy this process as much as other girls and find it difficult to turn down a guy in some situations, even though I should. Similarly, men probably find it hard to deny a woman who is throwing herself at him. We can’t be using each other this way.

For a while I was spending a lot of time with an ex-boyfriend, who is a really sweet guy, and not to mention a hottie. I figured it was a win-win situation because he got to spend time with me for now, and I got to be with someone without committing, which he understood. One day my roommate asked me how I would feel about the situation if the tables were turned. For some reason this was a new idea for me. I was using him because my motives were questionable.

With women, using a man usually looks different than when it is the other way around. Even though to me it seems a little bit more innocent, it should definitely be avoided.