UVU staying classy with Taco Bell

I often find myself defending UVU. I have always seen most of the defamation hurled our way as coming from a place of culturally supported snobbery and ignorance.

That was until I saw the opening of the new Taco Bell.

Classy UVU. Classy.

Life rarely surprises me, but the morning I walked down the PE hallway and passed a cameraman and a master of ceremonies, I stopped cold and my mouth gaped open in astonishment.

I felt the need to take out my ear buds to rejoin society, hoping to make sense of my surroundings.

Had I fallen down the rabbit hole? Or was a man in a suit really making a speech about exciting progress next to a piñata, bathed in pink florescent Taco Bell light?

A myriad of conflicting reactions coursed through my mind. I was stuck somewhere between the sheer glee found only in watching human stupidity and the utter exasperation that comes with the realization that you’re a part of an institution that not only welcomed one of the worst fast food chains to its halls, but commemorated it.

Is it not degrading enough that we have a Taco Bell on campus; do we really need to celebrate it?

Perhaps some of my distaste for the new restaurant comes from my resentment in losing the Lossee Café dining space. It was prime studying real estate.  Now the Lossee Café is awkwardly jutting out of the wall in the overly congested PE hallway.

Or maybe it comes from the revulsion I experience every time my nose is assaulted with the smells of sizzling fat and stale taquitos.

Either way, I try to avoid gawking at the long line of future heart attack victims, excited by capitalism and cheap Tex-Mex burritos: The new American Dream.

The whole thing is a little too reminiscent of the overexcitement surrounding In & Out Burger when it came to Utah in 2009.

I have a hard enough time standing in line to watch my favorite band play, let alone to experience the rare sensation of feeling my own arteries harden. But in Utah, if you build a fast food joint, they will come ready to wait for Doritos flavored tacos.

One must appreciate the near poetic juxtaposition that only a Taco Bell can express snuggled between Jamba Juice and the Exercise Science department in the Physical Education building.

Don’t worry, vegetarian students have been asking for viable vegetarian options on campus for years now, and what do they have to show for it? A new fast food restaurant built on thawed ground beef, whose idea of vegetables is limp iceberg lettuce and unripe tomato cubes.

On the bright side, Taco Bell made it just in time for the UVU’s Global spotlight on Mexico. What a serendipitous coincidence—at least I hope it was a coincidence. So, while we’re celebrating all that Mexico has given the great US of A, we can also continue our pimping of their food culture.

Here’s to hoping the Taco Bell chihuahua graces the halls of UVU before I graduate. One can dream right? Live más, muchachos.

11 thoughts on “UVU staying classy with Taco Bell

  1. I think you need to sum up your argument. Your whole article, implying it has some form of journalism (which form it is I’m not sure), embodies the type of people I hate the most: those who talk too much and say absolutely nothing.

    I read the page, and all I heard was a whiny, apathetic, child who tries so hard to have a negative opinion of something good to appear edgy. At the end when I saw the name Nicole I changed the voice to “crying b****” who’s upset the chairs 10 yards away aren’t good enough and has to buy her overpriced fruit 20 feet away instead of bringing it from home.

    Do everyone a favor and return the ear buds…you contribute more to society when you say nothing at all.

    1. Really? You’re this passionate about what is one of the lowest-quality corporate restaurants in the country? I’m not this passionate about my own mother’s food.

      1. It has nothing to do with taco bell. It has nothing to do with food at all. The article has no facts and only supplies biased, insinuating, and derogatory remarks at anyone who may, heaven forbid, like the change.

        I never knew adding more options was a bad thing, especially since nothing was lost in the process.

        I was with you for the entire first sentence until the word “restaurants.” Replace it with newspaper, and yes I actually do care about UVU’s image these students are tarnishing.

        1. I almost believe you’re joking. This is an OPINIONS piece; it’s not supposed to be a fact-laden news story. Nicole is baffled at why an opening of a Taco Bell, a sub-par fast-food restaurant, merited a speech and grandious opening. If you like Taco Bell, that’s fine, but why is there such a hoopla over mediocre fast food?
          You can’t really disagree with the rhetoric here. Taco Bell is almost a symbol of “meh” almost-mexican food, and people are lining up down the hall to get it. She mentions In-N-Out as well; for some reason Utahns will go crazy over something that frankly doesn’t deserve it. Well, NYC has a ramen burger, so I guess it’s not just Utah.
          Of all the things UVU wants, Taco Bell is the top of that list. That’s sad and frankly pathetic…

    2. home dizzle dee, just because you see a woman has written an article that you disagree with doesn’t give you licence to call her a “b****,” you sexist piece of sh*t. “You contribute more when you say nothing at all”? How about you take a minute, shut the f**k up and think about what you are saying and how it contributes to the institutionalised oppression of women everywhere, but then again, I bet dudebros like you never think much about women except how much you wish they would talk to you in real life.

      1. Do we seriously have to drag sexism into everything? This article was complete crap. It was crap regardless of who wrote it. Wether it be a male, female, transexual, American, Peruvian, European, whatever…it was crap.

  2. So… who’s being snobbish and ignorant now? Seriously… Get over yourself. It’s a taco bell. They serve food. Which I happen to enjoy now and again. I work out, I stay healthy, but I still like their food. Does that make me a lower class than you? If you don’t like it, don’t eat it. And don’t judge those who do.

    I think there are plenty of great options on campus for dining, including a noodle place and even a sushi bar. If you’re not satisfied with the choices, go somewhere else.

    Get off your high, sarcastic horse and join the rest of the world down here in the slums. We may smell like stale taquitos, but at least we’re not pompous and elitist.

  3. Hey Blake, your misogyny is uncalled for. Anybody with an IQ higher than a brick can parse out claims made in this article. Whether it’s selling out space to a corporate food chain or completely ignoring the demands of the university’s veg population, this article is right on the mark.

  4. I eat fast food therefore I love capitalism. Great deduction. As Blake said, this summarizes everything I hate most about liberal Utah. I would love to comment more on the matter, but I believe everything Blake said sums it up perfectly. Sexist? No. If you were a dude I would have used the exact terminology he used.

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