The lesser evil: What to do when you don’t like any of the candidates

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Many a time I have wandered to the fridge, stomach growling, only to find that there is nothing there to satisfy my appetite. There’s definitely food there, but it’s a mishmash of incompatible ingredients that wouldn’t taste good in any combination; a single slice of American cheese, a liquefied head of cabbage, and a half-empty jar of maraschino cherries that I don’t remember buying. At that point I start to contemplate allowing the cabbage to ferment further until I have kimchi, or else just plopping the cherries into my mouth one by one and then drinking that sweet juice until my teeth turn red.

Recently I found myself in a similar predicament regarding the current ballot. As an independent who could vote either way, what exactly are my options in the upcoming presidential race? We did start this race a year early, so shouldn’t we have some better people to choose from at this point?

I’ve written several times in The Review about my distaste for Donald Trump, about how his whole campaign seems like a joke that has gone way to far, a joke that at this point seems to be a significant portion of the election, and which the GOP has unfortunately decided to play along with.

But my beef with this election cycle isn’t completely centered on Trump. It extends to the entire cast of characters that have been rolled out for this absolute show of an election. There’s Ted Cruz, a big business puppet who argued against Net Neutrality by presenting it as the opposite of what it actually is; Chris Christie, who I had high hopes for, but seems remarkably quiet this time around; Hilary Clinton, who at this point is so scandal-ridden, I don’t want to go near her; Bernie Sanders, who I’m still trying to get a read on, and a host of others that have barely made a blip on my radar.

That’s when I realized how woefully uninformed and overwhelmed I am about politics these days. A big reason that I’m floundering is the sheer number of candidates running on the Republican ticket, which so far has been led by Scrooge McDuck in the polls. That, coupled with the fact that I don’t feel I can trust Democratic frontrunner Hilary Clinton and I feel like I have to choose between the least of 14 evils.

Seeing as it’s only February I like to take a breath and remember that I have plenty of time to research the candidates. And—thank Heaven—the huge pool of candidates will inevitably be whittled down to two or three interesting characters, for better or for worse. By November, the options will be much less imposing. I also have resources like the handy-dandy, which, much like a dating service for politic, takes my thoughts on the issues and matches them with the candidates who most closely aligns with my own views. If all else fails and I end up with a choice like Trump vs. Clinton, then I still have the option to go third party or even write in Mickey Mouse.

When all you have in the fridge is a jar of mustard and week-old sushi, it’s time to go shopping.