Ho ho ho, will you marry me?

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Christmas is that festive time of year full of nostalgic lights, decorations, magic, music and marriage proposals.

More people pop the question, or have it popped on them, during this time of year than any other. This is a huge step in a relationship and as the unofficial voice of romance on campus, this article will assist those looking to not screw it up.

Here is a list of some of the worst marriage proposal clichés to avoid if planning to pop the question over the break.

Take the restaurant setting. These guys probably think they’re clever and original with their detailed plan to treat their significant other to a romantic dinner at a swanky restaurant ending with a dessert or champagne glass accented by the glittery bling of an engagement ring.

To clarify, just because it’s been done in movies doesn’t mean it should be attempted in real life. Even if it works, it’s outrageously tacky. An eating establishment, no matter how nice, is never the place to make a memory that you want to last forever, unless you want your marriage to be associated with bottomless breadsticks.

Next we address the failures of the jumbotron option. Anywhere that a jumbotron is present, it’s overwhelmingly probable that a plethora of inebriated hotdog-eating middle-aged men, sweaty athletes and a blaring soundtrack consisting of The Adams Family theme played over the loudspeakers will also be in attendance. Not the perfect setting to romance the woman of your dreams.

The billboard alternative should also be abandoned. Nothing says, “I love you” like flying by a semi at 80 miles per hour in the hope that she gets a clear view of the five word proposal you’ve painstakingly thought out and plastered on the side of the road. How are you supposed to celebrate after that? Take off your seatbelts and hug it out in the carpool lane? Please note that this also applies to red cups stuck in the fence of an overpass to spell out the message.

The final proposal plan to discard is Temple Square. This one was saved for last because, although it may seem obvious, hundreds of couples fall into this abyss of unoriginal sameness.

Temple Square should just be off limits for proposals. The reflection pool, the Conference Center, the big window overlooking Temple Square at The Roof restaurant … all of it. Why on earth would you want to propose on the exact same plot of land as the ten other couples that only minutes earlier did the exact same thing? Instead, be creative and come up with something really unique and spectacular.

It’s OK to propose over the holidays, just make it count. Do something that is thoughtful, original and means something to you and to her. It can be public or private just as long as it’s memorable and something that she can be proud of, and not the same proposal that every one of her past roommates has already experienced.

1 thought on “Ho ho ho, will you marry me?

  1. Nate,
    I was at temple square to see the lights with my family. I witnessed the lamest marriage proposal ever. He dropped down on his knees in front of the gate between the temple and the reflecting pool while everyone was walking by (it was crowded). I couldn’t hear anything but he looked so earnest! However, judging from the response I think she said NO. It was embarrassing to watch. He then tried to talk her into it. I don’t think it worked.
    Not memorable or original, just awkward.

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