‘Footloose or ‘Footless?

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Payson Canyon’s recent “Bigfoot” sighting seems highly suspect

First off I would like to go on record as saying that I believe that Bigfoot – Sasquatch, Skunk Ape, Yowie, Yeti or whatever else you want to call it – is real. In my completely biased opinion, there is a vast amount of physical evidence and eye-witness accounts that corroborate this belief.

Despite my personal beliefs, I would argue that virtually every Bigfoot video that has surfaced over the past 40 years is completely false. I would go so far as to argue that there have only been a handful of potentially reliable Bigfoot videos since the Patterson-Gimlin video was released in 1967. Allow me to explain why, using the most recent “sighting” in Payson Canyon as an example.

This video starts off by showing a nice little creek flowing ever so gently. It’s peaceful, tranquil even. The camera zooms in on the creek when the cameraman supposedly hears something moving around off to his right. He zooms out and pans to the tree line on the other side of the creek, where he spots the “Bigfoot.”

Suspicious Activity Number One: The cameraman never attempts to zoom in on the “Bigfoot.” We know his camera has a zoom feature, as it just gave us a lovely close-up of the creek. Not once does he attempt to zoom-in on the creature in the woods.

This is a trend with a lot of Bigfoot videos. Almost all of them are shot from a long distance with no attempt to zoom-in being made. On the rare occasions that the cameraman does zoom in, the “Bigfoot” is either behind trees or obscured in some way.

Suspicious Activity Number Two: The cameraman has the worst positioning ever. If he would have moved five feet to either side he would have been able to get a better view of the “Bigfoot,” but he positions himself so that there is a tree constantly in the foreground, blocking any view he might have been able to get. That stupid tree is always in the way.

This hearkens back to my previous complaint, that there is never a clear shot of the “Bigfoot.” With the exception of the Patterson-Gimlin film, you will never get a clear shot of the creature. People may chalk this up to Bigfoot being highly elusive, but I tend to think it’s because the filmmaker doesn’t want you to see the gorilla or Chewbacca costume.

Suspicious Activity Number Three: The cameraman has no audible reaction whatsoever. He very calmly pans up to the trees and shuffles around a wee bit, but he doesn’t say a single word. Perhaps it’s because I was raised by a sailor, but if I thought I was filming a Bigfoot every curse word known to man would be spilling out of my mouth.

This is where Bigfoot videos become divided. A decent amount of them will have audible reactions from the filmmaker, and the rest have no audio whatsoever. It’s hard to base the validity of a film based solely off of the reactions of the filmmakers, but you can learn a lot by how much they “cheese it up” for the camera.

Suspicious Activity Number Four: The Bigfoot makes no noise, aside from the sound of branches and shrubs made by its movement. In almost every reliable Bigfoot encounter, the witness has reported hooting or growls coming from the woods, having rocks thrown at them, or the sound of branches being hit against tree trunks. It’s believed that Bigfoot do this because they are territorial and are trying to scare off intruders. While this is pure assumption and speculation, it makes sense when you examine other species that exhibit similar behavior, such as chimpanzees and gorillas. The “Bigfoot” in this video just slinks off into the woods, never making a sound.

I realize that all of this information is completely dependent on your individual beliefs. You either believe in Bigfoot, you don’t believe in Bigfoot, or you don’t care one way or the other. But we should all remember to approach things with a healthy dose of skepticism. If it seems too good to be true, it just might be.