Food finding for freeloaders

schedule 2 min read

Okay, budget, here goes. Textbooks and tuition: check. Rent and utilities: check. Back to school gear (new clothes, pens, and rare Chewbacca lunch box found on e-bay): check. Anything else? Ah yes. Money for food: ummm…

 

Okay, so it’s been a few days since you’ve donated your plasma and your money is running low. (Guess that year-long World of Warcraft subscription you just paid for wasn’t really worth it, eh?) What will you do for sustenance?

 

Before checking out a library book on “Edible Plants and Roots in Utah Valley” to begin living life as a forager, you may want to consider some more attractive alternatives to obtaining your provisions.

 

Attend the many barbecues put on by UVU’s various clubs and organizations (Warning— be prepared to at least know which group’s event you’re at, in the event that someone asks about your interest in said group.)

 

Costco/Sam’s Club — Need I say more?

 

Mailers — Hidden beneath those K-Mart underwear catalogs and Oreck Vacuum advertisements, your mail actually does come with some valuable fliers. I’m speaking of coupons to local eateries. With a little hunting, you can find quite a bit of value for your buck.

 

Online coupons — As with every other paper medium, coupons have gained wide online appeal. Simply Google “restaurant coupons” or something similar and print your findings. (Yes, “Google” can be used as both a noun and a verb. And in the future, it will also be used as the title of your national anthem…)

 

Starving student card — I consider this option to be a gem. If you don’t have a starving student card, simply go to the bookstore and pay the $20 price tag (which justifies itself very quickly.) It has both “buy one get one”-type offers as well as flat out free food.

 

Disclaimer: Guys, when you take a girl out to eat, make sure you pull out your starving student card or mailer coupons when she isn’t looking. Perhaps distract her by making up some outlandish statement about the restaurant, “I hear that there’s a petting zoo in the kitchen.” As she goes off to investigate, it will provide distraction and a potentially hilarious experience (at least for you).

 

Well fellow scavengers and moochers, this list only scratches the surface of low priced culinary options. Be creative (but keep it legal.) Happy hunting! 

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