Bush III Cometh

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John McCain isn’t very good at geography.
Two weeks ago, when a reporter asked if he would meet with Spain’s Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero, his answer implied that he thought Zapatero was from Latin America when he spoke of his record with leaders of “this hemisphere.” Last I checked, Spain wasn’t in this hemisphere. Do you want him answering the phone at 3 a.m. when you’re cramming for a geography test?
John McCain has a diplomacy problem.

Some months back, McCain stated that Iranian operatives were taking al-Qaeda troops back to Iran, training them, and then returning them to their countries. The media recorded the statement, which has since been widely circulated in an Internet video firestorm. There is as much empirical evidence to this allegation as there is to Iraq possessing nuclear weapons, which is obviously none. The camera caught Senator Joe Lieberman correcting McCain in a very modest way. Also noteworthy is that The Beach Boys’ hit, “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran” is not a good foreign policy.

John McCain has an honesty problem.

Earlier this month, McCain said at one of his “Straight Talk” town hall meetings that Barack Obama “is against nuclear power.” Which isn’t true. Obama has repeatedly stated that, “as president, I will tap our natural gas reserves, invest in clean coal technology and find ways to safely harness nuclear power.” Looks like McCain’s “Straight Talk” is as straight as Larry Craig in an airport bathroom during Thanksgiving weekend.

John McCain doesn’t think women should have equal pay.

In April, McCain voted against a bill that would ensure equal pay for women. Maybe we should tell Sarah Palin that she’s not going to get as much money as Dick Cheney does . . . and we’ll see how many kisses McCain gets from that pig.

John McCain doesn’t like black people.

McCain voted against a bill creating Martin Luther King, Jr. Day a federal holiday in 1983. Now I don’t know about you, but I’ve always thought Martin Luther King, Jr. was one of the world’s most brilliant people who spent his life peacefully fighting for social justice.

To vote against this bill is tantamount to telling the King family that Martin did nothing for this country except being the namesake of streets that are typically more violent. The least we could do is have a day of remembrance.

Even Karl Rove thought McCain’s tactics are troubling. Rove wrote an editorial for THE WALL STREET JOURNAL, which stated that he has “heard things about Senator McCain that were deeply moving and politically troubling.” And if anybody knows “politically troubling,” it’s definitely MC Rove, who embodies the word “demagogue.”

Poor McCain. The one time he secures his party’s nomination, he has to run against a dynamic, innovative and revolutionary candidate.

It’s like one of those Apple Mac ads. “I’m a Mac,” says Barack Obama. John McCain stands to the left and voraciously proclaims, “and I’m a PC.” While PC wears a typical business suit, Mac dons hip jeans and a relaxed T-shirt.

While PC wallows in his seemingly perpetual technical difficulties, Mac refers to his prodigious software and streamlined interface.

PC is prone to viruses, whereas Mac remains healthy and functional.

Let’s see if John McCain can prove that he isn’t as unappealing and technically illiterate as he appears in the commercials.