Bethesda Wants You to Get Wet

Bethesda Software is known far and wide for its incredibly deep, varied and story-driven games. Just so you know, their latest offering – Wet – fits into none of these categories. As a matter of fact, Wet fits into a strange, almost paradoxical subset of games that can be categorized as fun but not necessarily good.

Based on the exploits of femme fatale, Rubi Malone, Wet seems like some kind of ridiculously over-the-top B-movie that you’d accidentally watch on USA at 2 a.m. after a Taco Bell bender. Let’s face it, you know you’re in for a treat when the opening cinematic involves a paraplegic crime boss being robbed and executed. This act (more the stealing than the murder) prompts Rubi to leap into action and the trail of eviscerations, decapitations and dismemberments that follow is an exercise in bloody excess.

This brings us to our next point: infinite bullet time. Basically, whenever Rubi jumps, slides or runs up a wall and simultaneously shoots her double pistols, the game transitions into slow-motion. This allows you to take on groups of enemies with relative ease and Rubi’s repertoire of stunning acrobat moves make sure that every firefight can be approached from a multitude of angles.

Soon you’ll have Rubi take out two guys while she slides across the floor on her knees and then blow away three more while running up and backflipping off of a nearby wall. The combat is also helped with the very welcome addition of an auto-aim function that allows Rubi to shoot her guns in different directions at the same time, effectively allowing you to take out two enemies at once.

Shooting not your thing? Don’t worry, Rubi also packs a Katana and she can switch from guns to sword on the fly. This combination will have you crippling enemies from a distance and closing in to finish them off.

As far as a story goes, well, I think there’s one in there somewhere and I believe that it has to do with drugs and revenge and some sort of double-cross thrown in for good measure, but I just can’t stress enough how much it doesn’t matter. This game is about shooting and stabbing people in the face and it does that very, very well.

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