Imagine a Sunday stroll in the park. Two lovers blissfully gaze into each other’s eyes, seeing pools of infinite happiness and joy. The sound of church bells is heard off in the distance and song birds perch nearby serenading the young lovers. Suddenly a mudslide covers the entire park and pretty soon, even those little birds are trapped under two tons of sediment and debris.

That’s love for you. One second you’re on top of the world, and the next you wish you were six feet under it. Love is a big lie promoted by Hollywood movies and greeting card companies to make money. In fact, the only love that does exist is the love these guys have for their wallets.

Some of you out there might say, “But hey, I’m in love.” That’s where you’re wrong. A lot of things can be confused for love, such as lust, want of control, fear of loneliness; the list goes on and on. The fact of the matter is to love someone you can’t be the greedy, black-hearted, money-grubbing bastard that modern day society has turned you into. You actually have to care about something that isn’t yourself.

Is this cynical and depressing? Yes extremely so, but that’s the beauty of it. Next time you hop on that train of love with the scrolling marquee over the top reading Happyville, remember there’s bound to be a few stops in crippling emotional pain city. So next time you see that special someone walking down the hall towards you, stop for a second and remember, love stinks.