Dance majors will now have more to do than sit in the hallway of the LA building stretching while wearing arbitrary and weird sweat pant combinations with equally depressing leotards. A new exotic dancing establishment, Club of the Twelve Apostates, is opening in Provo next weekend and is actively recruiting UVU’s dance majors.

Club owner Tyson Cornell announced on Monday that the club needs professional women with that fresh-out-of-high-school appearance.
“It was an obvious business move to look to UVU dancers. They are all highly trained and will likely be unemployed once they graduate. It’s my way of helping them, not attacking them,” Cornell said. “But we are willing to train!” Cornell added.

The women of the dance department seem optimistic about the opportunity. One of the 238 Ashleys in the program said, “I think the dancing club will really, like, develop my resume and stuff.”

Considering that this will be Provo’s first exotic dancing establishment, Cornell is expecting to need quite a few women to fit the bill. “We would like to have some full-time girls. I’m trying to work with the dance department to see if the girls can use the job as an internship credit because of the real-life experience they will be getting on stage,” Cornell said.

Club of the Twelve Apostates will open its doors next weekend. Check out your fellow Wolverines and support them on opening night!