Hot tunes for 2010

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Get ready, music aficionados; a whole slew of rock albums are yet to be released in 2010 — ones that are just waiting to be either legitimately purchased or pirated. Shooting from the hip, I will break down just some of the notable albums that are set to come out.

Foo Fighters
The word is that the seasoned pop-rock troupe will be headed back to the studio again soon, possibly to release an album before year’s end. That’s good for all of you who like their music, but not for people like me who don’t.

Kid Rock
Mr. Rock is working with the iconic producer all-star Rick Rubin on his next record this year, which he hopes will be a good follow-up to his commercially successful “Rock N Roll Jesus.” I hope so too Kid, because it’s going to be tough to beat your “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Werewolves in London” mash-up. Either way, you should definitely stick with the whole southern-trailer-park-rapper image; it seems to work well for you.

Kings of Leon
The group will attempt to build upon the success of their last album, “Only by the Night,” with the release of a new album sometime this year. I don’t have anything to say about Kings of Leon— I haven’t given them a fair listen. I like their name, although I probably wouldn’t if my name was Leon.
Korn
The group that first made dysfunctional families cool is looking to release their next album, titled “Korn III,” sometime this year. If “Rocky III” provides us with some sort of corollary, we can expect that this album will be awesome.

Hole
America’s most endearing and strung-out rock mistress, Courtney Love, plans on releasing a new album this year. It will be credited to Hole, even though it will feature none of the other former band mates. It’s queued for release on April 27.

The Dead Weather
This band, which we could call Jack White project numero three, will be releasing a follow-up to their 2009 album “Horehound.” Some are marveling that White can be as industrious as he is, being in three active bands and all. The answer to this is that, in the world of rock n’ roll, there are many avenues to obtain substances, usually of a white powdery nature, that help with sleep deprivation and promote extended periods of concentration.

Staind
Staind will be “staining” the music scene again with yet another album. I’m not sure what it will sound like, but let me take a wild guess; Aaron Lewis’ lyrics will talk about how much he’s struggled in life, but has now has found a way to cope.

The Brian Jonestown Massacre — Apparently Anton Newcombe still has enough gusto to keep his amorphous band going. The new album, “Who Killed Sgt. Peppers?” is set to release later this month. So far, no amount of heroin addictions or band changes has been able to stop this band.

Radiohead — After 2007’s In Rainbows, Thom Yorke indicated that the band would take a lengthy hiatus. But it seems he’s they’ve gotten the itch again, because, according to guitarist Ed O’Brien, the band is recording this winter to release a new album later in the year. We knew you were full of crap, Thom.

U2 — The band may be releasing a follow-up to last year’s “No Line on the Horizon,” but this is not yet confirmed. Though this band is certainly the safest of all rock groups, no one can deny the excitement they feel when they hear the Edge on guitar. As one friend told me, “Who doesn’t like U2?”

Limp Bizkit —  After being ‘limp’ for a while, Fred Durst and his entourage have been getting a major hard on for a new release this year. It marks a reunion with guitarist Wes Borland, whose last work with the band was on 2000’s “Chocolate Starfish” and the “Hot Dog Flavored Water.”  Well, I’m stoked — keep the suburban angst flowing guys!

Linkin Park — Falling in with the late 90’s and early 2000’s crop of bands that spelled disaster, we have Linkin Park releasing yet another album. Unlike most of the other bands, Linkin Park has managed to stay alive. The guitarist has reportedly joked that the band will have to come up with a new genre name for the album because of how innovative it is. I’ve got one — how about one called ‘crap’? Or ‘suck’?

Slash — Still lingering around, Slash is set to release a solo album this year. Naturally, he is employing a wide array of all-stars to help him, including Alice Cooper, Ozzy Osbourne and Flea. I’m sorry Saul Hudson, but shredding on the Gibson with the Lincoln hat become lame when I was eight years old.

Stone Temple Pilots — STP will be releasing their first studio album in nine years with hope or getting back some of their former 90’s clout. I like the band, but I’m not holding my breath until I hear that Scott Weiland gets through a studio recording without injecting heroin.

Arcade Fire — These Canadian indie stars , who have ridden high on the waves of “Funeral” and “Neon Bible,” are in the process of recording their next album, set to come out sometime this year. There is no word on what the style will be, although epic orchestral folk-rock is probably a safe bet.

There you have it! Happy listening everybody. If you need more unprofessional music commentary, I’ll be in my room listening to Steppenwolf — aka the best band ever — and smoking pot. Adieu!