My wife Jennie likes to think she knew what she was doing when she married me, but I contend that she did not. It’s probably only fair to admit that neither did I. This March will be our seven-year anniversary and apparently we are falling short of the “itch.”


By now the average American couple has been in therapy, focused in on all their spouses warts and gotten the itch to look elsewhere. Amazingly enough neither of us have cheated, gotten bored or even raised our voices for more than a moment. In the media’s view of the world we suck at living up to the norm and should be shunned and pushed to the side.


In the real-world view of love we rock.


There is a reason that men hate chick flicks, they make us look bad. We aren’t running to the ends of the earth to track down the love that got away or saving them from an abusive relationship. We ask them to go bowling or out to Applebees for some good food in the neighborhood. Is it any wonder why we fall short?


They romanticize stalking someone and putting them out of business, calling into late-night radio shows opining about a dead wife and freezing to death floating on some luggage in the Atlantic. But when was the last time you took your chick out to dinner and a movie to watch a thirty-something couple hang-out after work and figure out what they are going to have for dinner?


If the “norm” is what we see on TV, then I am glad we are weird. I love excitement as much as the next guy, but for me true love is having fun doing absolutely nothing. Being totally honest I guess my definition of true love is that Jennie laughs at all my stupid jokes. Our idea of a romantic vacation is a stay in either Salt Lake or St. George, but our love is in the bad jokes.


That’s kind of hard to find on a Hallmark card for Valentine’s Day.


The world’s outlook on what love is revolves around the dramatic events that spark a relationship, and maybe that’s why our society tends to get a little itchy after a while.


The easy part is falling head-over-heels but that’s not love, love is driving down the freewayin silence and not even noticing. It’s wanting only to be in the same space as each other whether you say a single word or not. It’s actually not being afraid to admit that you may enjoy the silence every now and then and not worry about offending her. ‘Cause I mean truth be told she, most likely, is enjoying you not talking as well.


Love is not caring about your own pride and saying I’m sorry every now and then even when you don’t have to be. I’m amazed that this one is so hard to understand for some guys. Dude, she married you. You don’t have to impress her and look like you know everything. She of all people knows how wrong you can be sometimes, and chances are you are wrong a lot more than she lets you know.


It’s very rare that a guy can marry down so men, if you have someone, don’t screw it up. If things don’t work out it’s more than a coin-flips chance you found a way to take a good thing and turn it into a reason for her to call it quits. Love makes us do and say crazy things and it makes crazy-stupid things normal and good. So if you find yourself getting a little itchy, take a Benedryl, spray on some tough-actin’ Tinactin and relax.


There’s nothing wrong with a little itch, just don’t use someone else’s back scratcher.


By Jonathan Boldt