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Opinions

Deciphering love language

By Kyle Jellings
|
4 min read
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news."
Placeholder graphic of The UVU Review Logo with it's tagline of "Your voice, your campus, your news." | Graphic by The UVU Review
Feb 8, 2010, 6:19 PM MST |
Last Updated Apr 28, 12:18 PM MST

We are all at that special age where we are beginning to socialize more intimately with the opposite sex. Within the dynamics of these relationships communication can be difficult and signals hard to read.

The old adage “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus” is probably as true today as it has ever been, especially around Valentine’s Day. However, there may be a way for women to learn some Martian and men to learn some Venutian.

Ladies always come first, so here is the lowdown on male communication. For the most part, men say what they mean. Nevertheless there are occasions in which men tiptoe around their true feelings. Let me illustrate this situation with a classic example.

There’s one minute left in the big game and the woman walks into the room requesting to watch her favorite show. The man says “Sure, we can watch ‘America’s Next Top Model.’” But what he really means is “Please, Lord above, let her realize the importance of what is happening right now and let me finish this last minute!”

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, when a guy says, “You don’t need to do anything for me this Valentine’s Day,” he really means “Some sweet loving will do just fine.”

Now, some may argue that decoding the female mind is like trying to defuse a bomb, but here are a few examples of females giving signals that men should pick up on.

When a man is sitting on the couch watching sports, and his female counterpart is doing things around the domicile and says, “You’re a grown man, you can make your own decisions, and you don’t have to help me if you don’t want to,” that really means, “Quit being a sloth and get off the couch or I am going to make you regret this!” Men, do not hesitate to heed to this secret command because you will pay dearly.

The one that is probably being thrown around the most this time of year is, “No, we don’t have any money so I don’t need anything for Valentine’s Day.” This means, “You’d better do something for Valentine’s Day because there are plenty of people that are dying to find me alone on February 14.”

To be honest, you’re lucky to have her so make sure you let her know this fact. A few inexpensive suggestions include a framed picture of the both of you or a thoughtful hand-written letter.

There may be some solutions to the communication gap that women and men have been facing since the dawn of time. Firstly, use common sense to assess situations. Be careful in what you say — it will simplify the decoding process.

Quit beating around the bush and just say what you really mean. Although your intent may be to defer an argument, you are simply postponing the inevitable. If everyone just said what was on their mind, there could be less conflict in our everyday relationships.

Guys, don’t be idiots. You know what your girl wants, just make sure you are able to do it or she will find someone who will. Ladies, use positive reinforcement and try to make your man’s Valentine’s Day special in return.

No human being will ever be able to master deciphering the minds of both men and women. Men will never fully understand women and women will never be able to know the inner workings of the male brain. And yet, the sexes could coexist more peacefully with just a little effort from both.

Kyle Jellings More by Kyle Jellings
Previous Opinions It’s love’s illusions I recall
Next Opinions Low-maintenance Valentine’s Day
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