Breaking up

Photo Illustration: Valerie Cheatham, Photo Editor, @valeriecheatham

Stuffing your face, dancing in your underwear and meaningless sex are a few ways to deal with breaking up. There are healthier ways to deal, but in the end we just want to feel better.

Not all romances end up with a happily ever after. More often than not they end up in heartache, weight gain and a hatred for the opposite sex for a brief period of time. The severity of the break up and the time invested in a relationship leads to a plethora of coping mechanisms.

A UVU senior, Errol made a list of his ways to get over a break up, “Sex, drinking, and emotional eating are my top three.”

There are stages to coping with a break up just like there are stages to overcoming a drug addiction.

Drinking and sex often go hand in hand, because once you are three sheets to the wind, just about anyone and anything looks good. This is a frequently used coping mechanism and can lead to regret and the urge to chew your arm off the morning after just to avoid waking the beast in bed with you.

At one point or another Netflix becomes your new best friend and you suddenly find a new show with ten seasons that must be watched all in one weekend while lying in a snot infused tissue bed and eating ice cream straight from the carton. Listening to the soundtrack of those shows are sure to bring on some tears as well.

Just like exorcising a demon, most people will then try to exorcise the sudden ex out of their lives by burning, trashing and even running over items that have any kind of special meaning to that now decaying memory.

One of the more popular ways to cope with breaking up is to be alone. Some people run, some people sleep, but the common factor is they do it alone. It is a time to reflect on the relationship and either blame them for not doing enough, or come to the realization that it was for the best.

UVU alumni Michelle said “Long drives, going for walks and crying. Lots of crying, that’s how I dealt.”

After we are done being alone we want to get busy and do something other than eating our weight in chips and chocolate. That is when the productive part of breaking up happens. New hobbies are started, new friends are made, and projects we haven’t had time for get done.

Forming attachments and moving on from a break up are key items in coping. As humans we crave attention and communication from others like us. This is usually the last step in coping because we find someone new and are happy for the time being.

It becomes a vicious cycle however when you break up and start the whole process over again. Just make sure when you start dating again that your Netflix subscription is paid and you buy Kleenex and chocolate in bulk.