Reading Time: 2 minutes So, it looks like MacBooks are “in.” Every classroom has the handful of students that have them resolutely centered on their desks. But the person sitting behind you probably doesn’t think it’s used to benefit your academic experience. MacBooks aren’t the only perpetrators; this academic abandon seems pretty universal for the entire I-have-a-laptop-to-take-notes crowd, which […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes I keep hearing classmates claiming to being discriminated against. It’s usually a dramatic story involving a sort of pathetic solitude in the high school cafeteria or in a Carl’s Jr. and rarely getting more than a slanted look from the table of blacks on the other side of the room. Sometimes it’s a different setting, […]
Reading Time: 2 minutes The halls are now populated with dozens of hand sanitizer stations dispensing the clear liquid that is supposed to save you from a debilitating week of missed classes resulting from swine flu. It seems self-explanatory what a hand sanitizer should do for you – sanitize your hands; in other words, get rid of all the […]
Reading Time: < 1 minute cheezburger Bennifer aaiight strategery assitude bootylicious wassup
Reading Time: < 1 minute 1. THE RETUR—NO! READ ANYTHING ELSE BESIDES TOLKIEN, YOU NERD.
Reading Time: < 1 minute 1. Reading books makes you appear intelligent and sophisticated to your good friends, cherished co-workers, and other subordinates. Kind of like smoking in front of impressionable children. 2. Reading at the library is one of the most cost effective methods of entertainment. All that money you’ll be saving means more illicit drugs in your system […]
Reading Time: < 1 minute 1. Go, my book, and help destroy the world as it is. – Russell Banks, CONTINENTAL DRIFT (1985) 2. He was soon borne away by the waves and lost in darkness and distance. –Mary Shelley, FRANKENSTEIN (1818) 3. The knife came down, missing him by inches, and he took off. –Joseph Heller, CATCH-22 (1961) 4. […]
Reading Time: < 1 minute Rejected first lines of Herman Melville’s MOBY DICK Ishmael’s the name, sailin’ the sea is my game. Call me Ishmael, but email me at [email protected]. If you are reading this book based on the title alone, you may be disappointed to find out it’s considerably less erotic than you think. Call me Doug.
Reading Time: < 1 minute If Holden Caulfield were on Twitter, these would be his Tweets “Twitter is full of phonies, and all you do is Tweet.” “I don’t even know what I am Tweeting for – I guess I just felt like it.” “People never notice anything, much less my Tweets.” “I don’t want to Tweet anything to anybody. […]
Reading Time: < 1 minute Calculated answers given to the posed question, “Have you ever read J.D. Salinger’s CATCHER IN THE RYE?” in chronological order. 1.In Junior High: “Is that book about baseball?” 2.In High School: “Yeah, I’ve read it like four or five times. Currently on number six.” 3.In College, Freshman year: “I haven’t read it since Jr. High.” […]