Unsolicited dating advice

Chivalry is not dead

Newsflash! Chivalry is not dead. Fellas, it’s time to man up and treat your lady like, well, a lady.
Throughout the past few decades, women in general have become increasingly independent, making reliance upon men far less necessary. Many have forgotten how happy, successful and, yes, independent they can still be when paired up with an awesome male counterpart – and it’s our fault, because we’re stupid.

My intent is to remind you men out there of the common sense things you can and should be doing to treat your lady right.

• When dating, so much of your success can be attributed to pre-date planning. The basics of chivalry hinge on letting the ladies know what’s going on. When you call to ask her out, make sure you have a plan in mind. Let her know how she should dress. For example, if you’re doing something outdoors, tell her not to wear heels and to bring a sweater. If you’re going to a formal event, let her know what the dress code is so she can plan her outfit accordingly.  ?Another great pre-date tip is to have multiple meal ideas in mind. Some girls have food allergies, are picky eaters, are vegetarians or vegans, etc. If you have the foresight to plan accordingly and give her options that cater to her needs, she will notice. In a nutshell, planning out your date and keeping her in the loop shows that you actually think things through and that you didn’t just ask her out because you wanted some booty.

• Listen. No seriously, listen. Stop talking about yourself, your car, your ex-girlfriend, your hair and your mission. Just listen. It’s just common courtesy. If she’s not talking, ask her questions that don’t require a yes/ no answer. Have her tell you about her favorite vacation, her worst babysitting experience or the last time she got hit on by a total creeper. The results of many a date can be enhanced if you would just be sincerely attentive and interested in who she is, not what she is.

• Compliment her. There is a severe lack of compliments in our society, especially on dates. It’s not bad to compliment. But here’s the catch, don’t compliment her if you don’t mean it. Don’t feed her the halfhearted “I like your earrings” bologna that she hears from every other dude who is semi-interested in her. The recipe to a good compliment is in the why. If you actually do like her hair, shoes or earrings, say it, but then tell her why. Try something like, “I love your orange shoes! They look so happy. You must be a naturally cheery person. I admire that.” ??Yeah … that would blow her mind.

And with that, gentlemen, I free you into a world full of damsels in need of a knight in shining armor. I urge you to be chivalrous with not only the ladies you’re interested in, but every woman you come in contact with because, trust me, they all deserve it.

6 Responses to "Unsolicited dating advice"

  1. Michelle   September 28, 2009 at 10:49 pm

    Nate- This is absolutely fantastic advice! Why can’t more guys be like you? The world would be such a great place (for women and dating) if there were more Nate Bagley’s running around in it.

    Reply
  2. Sarah   September 29, 2009 at 3:27 am

    Good points – and boys: if you compliment a girl, it doesn’t mean you are in love with her or want to marry her! Go for it – make her day!

    Reply
  3. incrediblejulk   September 29, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Well, Nate, you knew this was coming. This really isn’t dating advice, is it? This is really a call for common courtesy, which shouldn’t be limited to dating, nor should it be limited to one gender. Why now are basic manners akin to chivalry?

    And let’s talk chivalry for a moment, shall we? The notion is antiquated and silly. None of us are damsels in distress, and we don’t need knights in shining armor to come and rescue us. Especially if that rescue comes by way of opening a door, or pulling out a chair. “Wo is me, I can’t seem to exert enough strength to open that door by my little old self, if only some BIG, STRONG MAN could come and save the day…” Give me a break. I have no problem with dudes opening doors for me, but I also have no problem opening doors for dudes, or other ladies, because I have this weird notion that we should all be respectful and nice to each other, rather than limiting my manners to courtship.

    The fact that “dating advice” is even necessary seems to me to be a mark of a society in decline. If we don’t know how to treat one another courteously in our day to day interactions, how can anyone expect to form more intimate relationships? People that need to be reminded to act like civil human beings need lessons in more than dating, they need lessons in how to function with the rest of their community/family/friends.

    Reply
  4. Misty Fowler   September 29, 2009 at 4:31 pm

    I love it when guys open doors for me. But, I REALLY hate it when I’ve opened the door and they refuse to walk through, and instead insist on grabbing the door and making me walk through instead.

    Reply
  5. katdish   September 29, 2009 at 4:35 pm

    I consider myself to be a very independent and strong woman and I don’t think that is at odds with the desire to be treated like a lady. I love your unsolicited dating advice. I wish more men were “old school” like that.

    Reply
  6. Meg   September 29, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    This kind of goes along with your article. Check it out http://theapronstage.com/2009/09/28/lets-hear-it-for-the-boys/

    Reply

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