Ladies, please listen to me. This is for your own good.
There is an outbreak of idiotic excess permeating throughout our sex, an epidemic dripping with stereotypical commentary on the materialistic nature of women. I am, of course, talking about this habit of women walking around campus with both a backpack and a purse.
Ladies, this is completely unnecessary. Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? When I see a woman walking with both a backpack and a purse, I automatically label that woman as high maintenance. And no, that is not a compliment. Granted, it does provide a shortcut to “Hey, let’s never be friends.” But as a fellow member of gentle sex, this ridiculous habit must be stopped.
Ladies burden themselves by carrying two cumbersome items in order to always have the things they “need” at hand. Or they do it because, gosh-darn-it, this purse is cute and must be shown off. Or they do it because the purse is an original Louis Vuitton or Dolce & Gabbana or whatever and they somehow have the mentality that people actually care about that stuff. This last kind of woman needs to be avoided at all costs. She is nothing but trouble.
Whatever the reason, this habit of materialistic excess must be stopped. It’s giving all of us women a bad name.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m neither against purses nor backpacks separately. I gush over a cute purse as much as the next chick and there’s something wonderful about a sensible backpack.
But here in the world of academia, our minds have enough trouble focusing on our studies without the addition of excessiveness. Not to mention, when walking down the narrow rows of desks, you’re bound to hit someone in the face. And that’s just impolite.
Now, I’m not trying to be mean. I understand the desire to show off a cute purse. But if you can’t fit all of your necessary school items inside, then maybe you shouldn’t be bringing it to school in the first place. Maybe your need to show off your material possessions is getting in the way of your practical thinking. But let’s not point fingers. This is a safe place and I’m here to help.
Ladies, it is time to free ourselves from the shackles of excessive accessories. It is time to be practical and say no to our double burden. It is time to pick a side and commit. I know this may seem daunting but trust me, it’s for the best.
The trick is choosing an accessory to suit the needs of your day. In the morning, assess what items you will need that day. If those items can fit in one of your purses without being overbearing, then by all means use the purse that day. If you can’t fit all your items in your purse, use a backpack. If you can’t fit all your items in your backpack or purse, you need to seriously reevaluate how much stuff you need that day.
Now, I know it’s a pain to continually transfer items from one bag to another. But I promise your life will be simpler if you don’t have to carry two burdensome accessories around when one will do the job. Not to mention, people will stop making fun of you behind your back. And yes, that does happen.
Trust me, ladies. I know what I’m talking about.
By Kelly Cannon – Life Editor
Photo by Tiffany Thatcher