Ello all. As you may remember, last week I talked about corn mazes, but this week, we go a bit deeper into the ‘Ween spirit and look at movies that set the mood for All Hallows.
Back when I was 12-years-old, me and my mate Berta went to see a movie we thought looked good. We were all ready and waiting for a bunch of blank-slate victims to be dispensed with in all manner of entertaining ways and what we got was ROSEMARY’S BABY. Things just weren’t the same after that. I don’t think poor Berta was at a time in his life to be confronted with young women birthin’ Satan’s bastards and had a funny turn. Well the movie gave me chills. I even named my first kitten Minnie Castevet.
Anyway, I was thinking about all those other films I saw that really affected me, so below is my list of the ones that messed me up in some way or another.
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS. Oh— My— Bob. Ya know that old story where the babysitter is in the house alone and then she keeps getting these calls and they’re coming from IN THE BLOODY HOUSE … oh my life, the first 20 minutes of that movie is like … like ooh waaaaahhhhh. What people don’t realize is, for the whole time he’s been chatting to the poor dear, the kids are already with baby Jesus. That contributed.
DRACULA: PRINCE OF DARKNESS. Seeing someone hung upside down to then have their throat slit into a coffin where the ashes of Dracula are waiting to be re-vampified – that contributed.
POLTERGEIST. Clowns, faces melting off, trees that eat you right the hell up, zombie filled swimmin’ pools and Zelda Rubinstein. That all contributed.
SCREAM 2. For a while I thought that if I found myself in a horror film I would survive ‘cause I know how to make the smart choices. People who make the smart choices in horror movies normally survive. But in the scene after Hallie and Sydney have climbed over the killer and out of the taxi to safety, Sydney wants to return and see who is under the mask. Hallie advises against that and says that smart people get out of there. So, Sydney, the silly moo, goes to peek anyway and finds the killer missing. Only he’s not missing, he’s right behind Hallie with a big ole knife. Smart people DO die in horror films and that contributed.
All of this (and more) contributed to the messin’ of Lydia Colt, but also the solidifying of my love for ‘Ween. So settle in with some sweeties or popcorn and watch one of these beauties and mess, but not on the carpet luv, it’s unsanitary.
Laters all. Lav ya bum.