The dating column from last week reminds me of one of my favorite movies, “500 Days of Summer.” After meeting at the office, Tom and Summer start a non-committed relationship, then become intimate and inseparable even though Summer warned Tom early on, saying, “I’m not really looking for anything serious.”
“Well, you’re not the only one that gets a say in this, and I say we’re a couple, (profanity)!”
Sure, this situation is different than yours. Tom was warned early enough that they were not to be committed. But the response from Tom struck my memory when I read your column.
Let me start by stating that that I agree with you. It only takes one individual to make the decision of a breakup. Regardless of the past, present or future that the broke-ee may have seen with the brake-er.
Even if a man can see a beautiful future filled with careless times, fond memories and possibly marriage, why would he pursue that when the women doesn’t want that with him? Even worse, why would he want to continue anything if she is absolutely sure that he is not the one she sees by her side in 10 years?
I would like to shed light on the perspective and mindset of someone who has just been broken up with. Following my breakup, I didn’t demand that she take me back, nor did I force her to go on a walk with me so I could persuade her to change her mind, but my first instincts were to do so.
Like Tom in “500 Days of Summer,” I wanted to put her in her place and tell her that I should have a say in this. I honestly believe if we love someone, a breakup tears away a part of us we thought to be true. It leaves a void in our lives and, in some cases, may cause us to drop everything we know about thinking clearly and making rational decisions.
My plea to men and women is to portray sensitivity when going through a breakup, regardless of who is calling the shots. If one could recognize the hurt of another person, then maybe life could be a little less painful.
When involved in a relationship, the individuals should stand up for what they believe, even if that means throwing in the towel. It might be quick like ripping off a Band-Aid, or it might be like tipping over a soda machine, rocking back and forth before completely falling over.
Whatever the case may be, it’s important to remember that sometimes, relationships aren’t the only broken thing in a breakup.