Author: Meghan Wiemer

How to spot a…

How to spot a hipster They deny being a hipster. Hipsters refuse to be labeled as a hipster because being a hipster is suddenly cool and hipsters never want to be cool. The ironic thing is hipsters want nothing but to be cool. They also want to be ironic, which brings me to my next tip … They have ironic tattoos (think cat in a sailor suit inked on their bicep) and ironic t-shirts (think cat in a sailor suit screen printed on their shirt) and ironic pop culture fetishes (I don’t know … Justin Bieber?) and anything else of a satirical nature. Despite being 100 percent Anglo-Saxon, they feel the need to honor their imaginary Native American culture by wearing feathers, beaded dreamcatcher necklaces, fringe leather jackets and overpriced moccasins. All items can be purchased at Urban Outfitters: the original Indian trading post. How to spot a crazy cat woman When she stands up, three cats fall out of her dress. Her dress is made from 10 pounds of cat hair. When she goes to the convenient store, she pays for her salami and cigs with cats, not cash. How to spot a bro You are in Utah County. It’s not hard. Finding a bro here is like shooting pickles in a pickle jar. Walk through the Business building, cruise State on a Friday night or swing by Gold’s Gym....

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Finish it! “The Beauty Myth” by Naomi Wolf

The “normal” size for women in Hollywood and in the fashion industry is nearly 60 pounds lighter and six sizes smaller than the average American woman. One would be hard pressed to find a woman who is not affected by this, whether emotionally, physically or both. Unrealistic ideals lead many females down an unhealthy and dangerous path of chronic exercising, extreme diets and overall dissatisfaction with their bodies. But how can a couple of scrawny, emaciated actresses and models cause so much physical and psychological damage to millions of intelligent and beautiful women? In the 1991 book “The Beauty Myth,” author Naomi Wolf argues that it is not just the idolized women in the media that are detrimental to women, but rather our culture’s image of beauty as a whole. According to Wolf, this image comes from television, advertisements, women’s magazines and pornography. These sources end up forming the concept of “beauty” into a weapon, which is then used to ultimately make women feel badly about themselves when they fail to live up to the “ideal.” In “The Beauty Myth,” Wolf does not discount the fact that beauty is important and that it aids in our attraction to one another; her issue is that beauty is very often defined as extreme thinness and youthfulness. She explores six areas of life where major problems come about because of the beauty...

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Karma & Meg: Making up an identity

Some Buddha guy once said, “What is the root of evil? Desire is the root of evil, illusion is the root of evil.” I guess that means I’m a pretty evil chick. Ideally, I’d like to say I’m free from all desires and illusions because then, well, I’d be enlightened. And enlightenment seems like a pretty sweet deal. Do you still have to go through the hell of finals if enlightened? Probably not. Yeah, I’d choose enlightenment any day. The problem is I don’t choose enlightenment. I choose beauty on a daily basis. Now don’t get me wrong—I am not high maintenance. I don’t color my hair or spend two hours a day perfecting my coiffure; I very rarely, if ever, desire expensive threads; and teeth whitening and skin tanning seem ridiculous and unimportant. But then there’s makeup. You remember the indie kids’ favorite flick “The Royal Tenenbaums,” right? Well, imagine the character Margot Tenenbaum for a second; or rather, imagine her eyes. She’s got those raccoon eyes that are so emo and enigmatic and are consequently the eyes that most closely resemble my own every day. In other words, I’m a sucker for the eyeliner. I’ve worn it religiously ever since seventh grade (which was well over a decade ago) except for about a week during my hippie phase in twelfth grade. It started out as fun; when...

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Crucial camping tips: A summer under the stars

If you’re anything like me, you have codependency issues, stay awake all night questioning your own existence and are on the lookout for a toaster. Oh, and you also love summer camping! And because I love camping during the summer months (and the fall, winter, and spring months), I consider myself highly qualified to give all 29,000 of you camping advice … FOR FREE. It’s your lucky day, folks! Camping Tip #1: Don’t expect nature to look like the nature you see on television shows, such as reruns of “Full House.” We all remember the episode where Uncle Jesse is filming some sort of commercial in the woods. Well, that’s not what actual nature looks like. Actual nature has actual rocks and actual trees and actual woodland creatures and, sadly, no actual John Stamos in a leather jacket. Not usually, at least. Camping Tip #2: Don’t forget to bring your sleeping bag. Or better yet, bring your futon. Nothing says a relaxing night’s sleep better than a futon haphazardly placed in between a fire pit and a Port-o-Potty. Speaking of potties … Camping Tip #3: Be OK with squatting. Sometimes you will go camping with — get this — NO FLUSHING TOILETS. Yeah, apparently bathrooms don’t naturally exist in the mountains; well, at least not the bathrooms we’re used to. Instead of causing a bladder infection by holding in...

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Survival guide

How to survive the last month of school 1. Limit the time you “dick around” Many people suffer from procrastination and I, folks, am one of those people. For example, the deadline for this article was today at noon. Well, it’s 9:55 p.m. and I am just getting around to writing it. This is not good. Procrastination is not good. Even if you tell yourself you “work well under pressure,” you don’t. Cramming for a test or writing a 12-page paper in 4 hours is not going to produce your best work, so put down your Gameboy and/or Discman and/or whatever electronic device takes up most of your time and start doing some homework already. 2. Get fresh air and exercise It’s finally starting to feel nice outside. Go for a hike, soak up some vitamin D, and find some inner peace. You will feel refreshed and ready to take on the challenges of finals week that are headed your way. 3. Avoid becoming a slave to caffeine It may be tempting to reach for a Rockstar or a double shot espresso latte every time an assignment is due or a test needs to be taken, but relying heavily on caffeine will do nothing but make you a slave and a crazy person. I know; after consuming at least 600mg of the jittery substance, I threw my backpack across...

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