Author: Gregory Gerulat

Get it? Got it. Gerulat: April 11, 2011

Advice from staff writer Greg Gerulat Dear, Gerulat My father is apparently in the habit of making some pretty bigoted remarks. I’ve only started to notice it after friends of mine and people I know from Facebook have commented to me about things he says. I don’t think his remarks are intended to hurt anyone or are even indicative of a racist or sexist agenda. In fact, I know my dad to be a great guy who treats others with respect, despite a somewhat acerbic sense of humor. Long story short, I don’t think he’s aware sometimes of what he’s saying. Despite this, it’s still pretty embarrassing. What should I do? Do I talk to my dad about these remarks? How do I go about it without offending him? Sincerely, Walking on Eggshells Dear WALKING ON EGG SHELLS, Have you ever been over to a friend’s house for the first time and get cold-cock right in the nostrils with a pungent or distinct aroma that is the product of his habitat, and when you bring it to light, he just shrugs it off, claiming he doesn’t smell it? Like living with a discrete odor, your dad’s rhetorical antics are something common enough to slip below your radar, but is a fresh blip to those who don’t know him as well. Steer him away from his stockpile of stereotypes and don’t...

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Get it? Got it. Gerulat: Advice from staff writer Greg Gerulat

Dear, Gerulat I am trying to quit smoking, but it’s proved to be harder than killing Rasputin. My job is very stressful – as is my current living situation – and more often than not, the fiascoes that accompany me on a day-to-day basis drive me to seek solace in “just one more” cigarette. To make matters worse, I find nicotine gum disgusting and the patch is too expensive for me right now. I know I need to quit, but it’s hard to find a way to do it short of abandoning my job and moving to a remote cabin the mountains, away from anything that could potentially aggravate me enough to make me want to smoke. Are there any tricks I can use to fight the craving without drastically changing the rest of my life? Sincerely, Black-lunged and Boondoggled Dear Black-lunged and Boondoggled, The first step at tackling this is to pinpoint the triggers of your Marlboro malfeasance. Each smoker usually has very specific ones, whether it be a stiff job or a stiff drink. But you just said it yourself, buddy: You’re surrounded by stress, and your aggravators come in spades. It’s pretty tough to grab the bull by the horns if you’re trying to grab said horns right after the ass has been slapped. So what do you got to do? Calm it down a bit....

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Get it? Got it. Gerulat March 28, 2011

DEAR GERULAT, I’m leaving UVU at the end of April, and I’m not really sure where I should go after I finish up. I’ve spent 20 years in Utah, and now I’m seriously considering leaving the state. My major is pointing me eastward, and this place is pretty stagnant. I, however, would probably be doing it alone. I don’t really know anyone that lives in other states or anyone that I would trust to take with me. I’m aware people do this all the time, but how should I plan for such a solitary leap out of Utah? SINCERELY, WANDERLUST IN WASATCH DEAR WANDERLUST IN WASATCH, Do me a favor – close your eyes, and imagine what life would be like if you stayed in Utah five or ten years down the line from now, instead of leaving. Imagine staying in the same old place and seeing the same environment over and over again as your friends and peers come and go; as you eventually replace your optimistic view of the future with a trove of mediocre “I remember when..” stories and regrets of not going on any adventures. Imagine being that guy. Now, open your eyes – he was a buzzkill, huh? Listen to me: stay here and you will become that guy. Unlike going away on a simple vacation, you’re going to be hanging your hat up...

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Fear not for the future, just the controversy

Movies and books that can heedlessly draw the most attention are those that are set in the future. We’re fascinated by the wholly accurate depictions and the completely maniacal and bogus predictions and we appreciate the way they make us excitedly anticipate or dread the future. Back to the Future II informs us that hover boards and pizza-enlarging ovens are allegedly going to be available by 2015, although you can’t pre-order them online yet. At the same time, I Robot informs us that we’ll have a cheap labor force of milky colored robots complete with Ted Bundy-esque facial expressions who’ll make it that much harder for uneducated, unskilled humans to find a job. However, one thing that most people don’t note is the innumerable additional laws that will be enforced in such a future. For instance, all of you may be aware that one of the prominent debates that has been going on for the past decade has focused on the exact definition of marriage. But while everyone is chewing on that, would politicians be able to answer what constitutes as a legitimate conception? This is something that we should at least figure out before 2025, at least according to Stanford scientists, who have already constructed a general framework of how to produce artificial sperm and eggs. One can even include and exclude specific genes from the sperm and...

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All shook up: Concerns and explanations on the recent quakes

Between Feb. 11 and Feb. 13, the citizens of Lehi claimed to have felt the Earth move under their feet, and unlike those of us who have sung karaoke to Carole King before, they were being completely serious.  On Friday and Sunday, the city of Lehi and surrounding rural areas reported feeling a total of three quakes. According to the University of Utah Seismograph Station, the first quake struck roughly around 7:38 p.m. on Friday night with a reported magnitude of approximately 2.5. The second, a 2.6, jolted residents awake around 2:25 a.m. on Sunday morning, and the third, a 2.8 and the biggest of the three, rattled residents one final time, concluding the triplet at 6:09 p.m. So while the rest of Utah County were gathering up roses and boxes of Russell Stovers in preparation for Valentine’s Day, some of the constituents of Lehi were gathering up food storage and 72-hour kits in alertness of a possible impending natural disaster. Although some of us may be privy to the exact causes and explanations of a quake, many people may dismiss it as some unknown phenomenon related to volcanoes, some kind of movement to do with underground plates, or one of the innumerable apocalyptic theories that have been circulating around in the mainstream lately. According to geologists, there are two main types of earthquakes: tectonic earthquakes and volcanic earthquakes....

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