Being gay at BYU

Having chosen to attend one of the only schools that would never accept him or his lifestyle, BYU freshman Neil Murray used to walk the hallways in constant fear that his peers would see him for what he really is. “You’re just so fearful; you hate yourself to begin with, because you’re still not OK with yourself … it’s so stressful,” he said. The part of him that would never be accepted by his fellow students wasn’t anger issues or a drug addiction. Murray’s alleged wrongdoing was his homosexuality. Murray admits that his biggest fear was not his actions, but rather being discovered and getting kicked out of school, considering the stance of the church-owned university on homosexuality. However, that did not make it easy for Murray, who had a strong religious background which centered around traditional family values. “It was hard for me to date guys and be OK with it. It definitely was [an inner struggle] because my parents were so against it,” Murray said. The Murray family is not one to practice the teachings of their church exclusively on Sundays — they are devout, which made the announcement all the more shocking. “I don’t know how many people have seen their mother in the fetal position, rocking back and forth in tears, praying out loud to God,” Murray said of his coming-out moment. “It is horrifying...

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