Once a cheater, always a cheater

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Photo credit: Gabi Campbell

 

Cheating seems to be a growing problem in today’s world with modern technology. But it leaves the ever lingering question: if someone cheats once, will they cheat again?

Years ago a certain UVU girl and a certain UVU guy began dating and they fell in love. The relationship was not without its problems but overall she felt immensely happy and was convinced they would later spend the rest of their lives together.

He left on a vacation to Mexico and when he returned something about him felt different to her. He chose to leave UVU and start attending school at Utah State University in Logan. The distance could have been to blame for the wedge growing between them but she felt it was something else.

On one occasion when he had come home to visit, she apprehended his phone and was shocked by what she saw. His text inbox was filled with messages from other girls, some thanking him for a great night spent together.

Devastated, she confronted him but he began coming up with lies to convince her otherwise. It wasn’t until she expressed fear for her own health that he finally told her about the five other girls he had slept with while they were together, including an affair in Mexico.

This story isn’t far off from the modern day relationship issues many people struggle with in college. With apps and text messaging it seems like the ability to cheat is far easier than it ever was before. Where maybe once upon a time people had to go out and find affairs on their own, today an affair is only a small word count away and it’s becoming more common.

Even marriages are suffering. A study by the University of Washington found that between 1991 and 2006 the number of unfaithful husbands increased by 45 percent and continues to rise today.

As the adage goes: once a cheater, always a cheater. But is that always true? Many people find that if your partner cheats once, it’s very likely it will happen again. When someone has the ability to cheat it is a reflection of their character, and people with poor character are typically repeat offenders. Perhaps that saying doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat again, but that it marks them for the rest of their life. Once someone has cheated, they will never have a clean record of fidelity regardless of if they never cheat again.

Typically if you have been cheated on and you have the choice, it would be wise to leave the relationship. That type of heartbreak is excruciating to move past and it takes a long time to heal and move on. Regardless of if they cheat again or not, you need to make the decision now to stay or leave if someone ever cheats on you in the future.

If you are considering cheating on someone you are in a relationship with, just have the uncomfortable break-up talk and end it beforehand. If you don’t want to lose them, don’t disrespect them by cheating. Two very simple solutions to a problem that could possibly brand you for the rest of your life.