Holiday staff infection

What should be a modern replacement for coal in a person’s stocking?

A flash drive with a computer virus.

–Lindsey Linge

Scorpions. Wait, that’s probably more primitive, not modern. But that’d teach those naughty kids!

–Jordy Kirkman

Twilight, book or DVD.

–Rob Steffen

A membership to Gold’s Gym.

–Jennie Nicholls

For Republicans President Obama and for Democrats Rush Limbaugh.

–Kyle Jellings

Sarah Palin’s new book Going Rogue.

–Dave Iba

A rolled up cat poo that no one noticed under the sofa, or a six-month-old dreadlock.

–Loran Cook

Miley Cyrus CDs.

–Amie Wells

Crippling depression and an overwhelming sense of doom.

–Meghan Wiemer

A gift baggie filled with broken glass and spiders.

–Emma Hunt